It’s so hard for me to answer questions people ask me. Like just general questions. It’s either because I honestly don’t know or I don’t know if I should tell someone the truth or come up with a lie.
Q: “How’s work going?” Lie: It’s good. Thinking: I’d rather die than continue going there everyday.
Q: “How’s life treating you?” L: No complaints here. You? T: It’s treating me like a worthless piece of shit and I really don’t care how awesome yours is.
Q: “How are you today?” L: I’m great! T: I’d rather I hadn’t seen today, honestly.
Q: “How are you feeling?” L: I’m feeling fine. Why? T: *sings My Chemical Romance’s I’m Not Okay in my head* And I’m only wondering if you can see through my facade.
Why do we feel the need to lie to people when they ask us questions? That was rhetorical.
- People can’t be trusted: If you tell someone how you really feel, then they would rather send you somewhere instead of helping you, but they don’t know how to help anyway.
- People don’t really care: Most of the time people only ask you things because they’re hoping it would come back around to them and they can talk about themselves and brag about their great life.
- People only appear interested for themselves: If they ask the depressed, suicidal person how they are, and they end up attempting or completing their demise, then they can be like, “I knew all about their problems because I put forth the effort of asking how they were. I tried.” And they can walk off without a guilty conscience.
Maybe that’s just me being bitter, hateful, and dead inside. But those were my run-ins with no-depression-experienced people. Except for the last one. I haven’t died. But I’ve seen it on Facebook. Someone killed themselves and then people were like “We were so close! I wish I could’ve done more for you.” Like, you talked to them for a day on IM and then ignored them because they made your life less happy.
24 comments
Realistically no one can help you. There absolutely nothing nobody can say or do to make you not feel suicidal. I know lots of people who give a fuck about me but they just don’t know how to help me and I don’t hold it against them. I mean how can I? I don’t even know how to help myself.
I know people can’t really help you. I can’t help myself. But it’s when people start to think of you as a lost cause and everyone gives up on you. “She’s probably going to kill herself anyway so I’m not going to waste my time.”
I’m not sure what hurts more. The fact that people only ask to fake-care about you, or that they don’t even do that anymore.
I’m incredibly sad today. This post made me sadder. I don’t have much faith things are going to get better, not today at l3ast. That is all.
I’m sorry this made you sad. Today has been more depressing than usual it seems. I don’t have much faith in the world, or anything for that matter. Everything keeps getting worse and everyone is getting colder and more careless.
Also no one on this forum is a lost cause.
I know deep inside no one is a lost cause, but the more people treat you like it the more you start to feel like it. And if it feels like everyone has given up on me, and I think I’m only holding on for other people, I’m actually just here for myself then and I don’t want to be here, so just what’s the point?
I haven’t, so it is everyone, minus one person, who have given up on you.
I’m pretty sure that punctuation is correct. Commas can be tricky. A lot like killing yourself. One misplaced one could ruin your whole day.
this is horribly true in some ways… people cannot help you, but they can try and make you feel as though you shouldn’t give up… does this make sense? I don’t think this makes sense… some people try; they really do put effort into trying to make you feel better. But when they don’t immediately make a difference, they leave…
Some people are just extremely lazy in their efforts. Some people, if you try to talk to them, they just immediately want to send you someone or call someone on you. Like I came to you in confidence just so I could vent, and your first thought is to get rid of me? Why would people do that? They can’t tell me they care and are worried about me while they’re casting me away.
I know they can’t help me and they may be worried, but they don’t understand how just listening to me and showing I can trust them would mean so much. But they never put in much effort to figure that out.
Send you somewhere* dumb phone.
This reads exactly how I feel currently. Just gotta keep trucking, things dont get better but at least some days are comparatively less miserable. ah well.
I’m glad I could put words to it. And yes, just add any other day. Just some days I seem to care more about things than usual.
As* I swear, this phone…
I have found that if you give an honest answer to somebody like a coworker, for instance, they often laugh.
I hope I don’t sound like a jerk by saying this, but I honestly don’t care that most people don’t care.
Care about me, I mean. Guess I should have clarified that – oops. I have two people who care.
My co-workers hate me to begin with so I wouldn’t dream of telling them shit. But just family or “friends” for examples. They used to care, but now they can’t even fake it or it just feels half-hearted. And that does suck, at least for me. What stopped? Why does it seem like they wouldn’t miss me? Are they supposed to?… No matter the answers, things wouldn’t change, I guess.
Sometimes I give an honest answer about how I’m doing. The other person will say “Fine.” or something simple and I’ll go into how I’m feeling. Not to everyone, but a select few. It’s true, no one can really do anything. It’s nice when you feel like they really care though.
It is very nice when they give some semblance of a fuck about you, but sometimes it’s hard to decide who to open up to. Especially when some of your old “select few” proved to be untrustworthy.
Most people appear to lie and put on a mask. Or they don’t ***** as much as I do. I just can’t pretend anymore. That’s why I think I can’t stay alive for long. This life belongs to those who can keep going or at least fake it.
I hope you do decide to stay. You seem like a good human, and possibly a good friend.
I really hope you decide to stay too! Thanks for your comments. I hope you can find some people you can actually trust. It can be tough, but it’s possible. Good thing we have this site to vent about these things. It helps.
I’d probably be gone right now if not for this site.
“I’m not o fucking kay!” Good to know I’m not the only one that hears that in my head 🙂
I think it’s always in the background for me. 😛