I’m 30 years old. Nearly everyone has cheated on me. I think that my boyfriend will if he hasn’t already. There is always something for him that I have to fix about myself. I feel like I can never be good enough. My family is fed up with me complaining about him, because it’s my choice to be with him. I don’t want to break up with him because I remember what it was like to have him fawning over me, and I think that somewhere he cares. I’m so confused, I don’t know who the true person is for him. He’s criticized my weight and now I’m 30 pounds lighter and his form of flattery is to tell me that I look larger than I am. He talked about how pretty other girls are. I told him it hurts and he says I’m being overly sensitive. It seems like I always make the bad choices. When I broke up with my fiancee last year, he told his friends that I was a cheater (and I wasn’t) and that he could get me fired, but never said why. I’m afraid that everyone I break up with is going to threaten me or my job, or say something negative about me. I’m afraid of the anger that is going to happen if I try to break up with him. I’m afraid of being alone with nobody to talk to when I break up. I’m afraid of losing a good friend. It just always seems like I’m the loser in life. I’ve gone out of my way for this man, and I wanted to share my home with him. Now it’s just me in a 3 bedroom home and I’ll probably just die alone or always make the “bad decision”. He can have whatever he wants, but somehow I’m not a ‘catch’ and he even knows that. I try to be just like him and rub in how good looking other people are, but he doesn’t believe me. All I’m doing is getting older and uglier.
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Well if you’re so heavy you can kick his arse and he blast off to space hahahaha 😀 He but hurt space naute!!!!!!Okayyyy 😀 Better on your own eating some butter than with cheater liar iucy hearted poof ;p Sending some love your way xoxoxoxoxo
For the same reason that you aren’t super young any more, is the same reason that you don’t need to waste any more time being with this guy..
I am wondering if you are subconsciously posting this on the internet to try to see if the internet consensus is in agreement that you should leave this guy.. An outside perspective can some times be helpful since your own opinions on the matter can become very much subjective since you are one of the actual people involved in the relationship..
If you re-read what you posted, and try to think of it as from an objective 3rd-party view-point reading about some one else, it becomes clear (at least in my humble opinion) that ultimately you would end up leaving this guy any way, but it might just take a long time before all of the ties are finally cut.. But leaving this relationship slowly will only delay you from starting to move on and eventually finding some one else to be with.. The one you are currently with always seems very special and unique at the time, no matter who it is.. But after you leave them and find some one else, that new person will have their own specialness and uniqueness about them, and you will wonder what you saw in the previous boyfriend.. And hey, maybe you might even get really lucky and find some one who doesn’t insult and judge you; crazier things have been known to happen..
Find some one you can be your self with.. When you find that kind of freedom, you will know it.. But it certainly isn’t with the guy that you are currently with..
I have to agree with the above comments: kick his ass. I mean, the “being a catch” train of thought is something that you shouldn’t ever apply to… anyone, lol. You are with someone because you enjoy being with that person and they’re special to you, not because they are “a catch”.
That said, well, he’s with your for a reason, and only you can know that (or figure it out if you don’t know it already). My question would be, do you really want to be with some guy that bugs you about your weight even when you made the effort to lose weight for him? i’m pretty sure that if i ever told one of my ex gfs something similar they would have slapped me or kicked me out of their life right away (or both).
If you’re unsure, i’d say Baconmon is right, you’re just wasting time. FTR i’ve been cheated on almost every relationship as well, never cheated anyone, and always was the dumped one on the relationship. After all is said and done (i’m over 30 btw)… all i can say is that you shouldn’t waste your time for someone that is not worth it. I sincerely wish i hadn’t done that myself, because those years could have been spent on someone that actually saw me as a real person, and not as a canvas to change to their liking.
@me012: True story, on my 30th birthday my exhusband gave me a treadmill and said “your looking fat and out of shape, I got you this to fix it”. He was a real peach. Was I fat and out of shape? Not really, not by medical standards at least. Was he a controlling POS psychotic nut? Absolutely.
So why did I stay with this controlling dangerous guy? Love, sex, insecurity, maybe it was easier than confronting him. No, it definitely easier than leaving him. But I did, and it was dangerous and awful, but in the end I learned there are a lot of sick people in the world, and they don’t have a tag on them that say “Caution: consume at your own risk”.
Abuse comes slow on cats paws. The abuser eases into the pattern, and he or she might not even realize why they do it, they just know it makes them feel better, it feeds a need in their mis-wired brain. It isn’t the victim’s fault either, they are eased into it so slowly many times they can’t see themselves in a mirror.
So I am going to hold a mirror up for you. You are being abused. What you decide to do with this information it up to you. Everyone has their own breaking point, mine wasn’t the treadmill, it wasn’t the verbal berating day after day, it wasn’t even him cheating on me time and again, what broke me was when he left me for the I don’t know, fifth time? And moved into his girlfriends apartment and wouldn’t give me the address. I looked around and realized that I needed to get out of this mess, before I was too old to start over. It didn’t occur to me at the time that I am never too old to start over as long as I am still breathing.
So what is your breaking point? When will you decide enough is enough? I don’t know I don’t have the answer for you. I will be thinking kind thoughts about you today.