This just hit me.
Our worst method of self harm isnt cutting, or burning,
It is self sabotage.
Atleast thats the way with me.
Worst part , i still have that lingering hope.
And the fact that i am sabotaging myself, while still having that little hope, is tougher.
Suicide is tougher cus i still wanna live.
But my motivation for suicide are ever growing,
1. People hate me , and i hate most of them.
2. The ones i do love, dont love me back
3. My parents only love me cus they are biologically engineered to do so
4. Future is bleak and getting bleaker moment by moment
5. The world would be a better place without me
6. The only girl i have loved so darn much said this to me a year back( may’15) ” i hope you go to a corner and die”, seriously considering taking her advice
7. I have hated myself almost everyday since last june
And there are several more but i cant explain them with words