4:28 am

I’m writing this and it’s early as fuck.

I can’t sleep. I just made a grilled cheese too an it was great. Early in the morning is when my thoughts are crazy.

I was thinking about how I feel like the day I die my soul will finally find peace . It will be a relief . I’ll finally get to rest. I wish the day could come sooner.

I was also thinking about a afterlife . I wouldn’t say that I believe in God , but I believe in something . I hope there is something after this world . Maybe this life is hell? There has to be something . All of this would be pointless . If there is nothing , then where do our souls go?

Our consciousness proves there has to be something . We have the capability of thinking about how we are able to think. That’s a crazy thing if you think about it! You are all aware that you are present . Scary right ?

I used to spend days thinking this way. Questioning everything is a huge reason why I have fallen deep into depression. I wish I knew more . I feel like I can’t rest until I have the answers to everything .

Another weird thing I thought about — when you think a thought your hearing your own voice inside your head . THATS LITERALLY SO CRAZY. But what if someone is deaf from birth ? They have never heard their voice , so what do they hear ? You can’t ask a deaf person this question either because they would not understand.

These are just some things running through my mind like crazy lately . I wish I could sleep.