Alright, fellow depressed ones, back again to give y’all an update on my pathetic, miserable life. Last I posted, I went over a chunk of my life story and left off at my homeless predicament. As of now, I quit my job with a really abusive, corrupt oxygen company and I’m currently enrolled in college. I just had my first day of college today. As is typical of my life, nothing can go right. After two years out of state and a total shift in my appearance and personality, I ended up in class with bullies I’ve known since I was four years old. They tried to get to me and failed. Guess my skin thickened up some.
I was, of course, denied financial aid because I worked for three months. I had to quit my job to go to college because my boss demanded I be available to work at least fifty hours a week. That made college an impossibility. I paid a grand out of pocket for tuition and books for community college. Quite absurd if you ask me. It’s good I can afford a semester though.
I did my best to come out of my shell and talk to people during my first day. I personally introduced myself to my professors at the end of class, to quite a large sum of students, and did my absolute best to fit in and be normal. I was smiling like an idiot because I was so excited to have a fresh chance wish my social life. Nothing’s changed, at all. The new me is met with the same cold shoulders as the old me. I’m again depressed and my only driving motivation is a computer science degree.
On the bright side… I don’t believe I’ve ever had this little to complain about. I really should be getting some sleep, considering I have class in the morning. To wrap this up: I’m still homeless and jumping between friends’ houses. I saved enough to finish two semesters of college, if I’m lucky. I’m spending as much time there as possible for obvious reasons… hell, if my life sucks and I have nowhere else to go, why not go for a degree? Anyway I hope y’all are alright.. I’m lonely and definitely want somebody with whom I can discuss pointless crap. 🙂
9 comments
Hi killermaggot you are inspiring to me. I’m unemployed and 35. I want to go back to school(college). I need to fill my life with change. I want a good decent job, one that I love. I always wanted to go to college. When I was young I was to mule headed a d didn’t think I needed a degree. But i think for what I always desired I would need a degree even if it’s not the field I want. I am afraid of the $50,000 bills and probably more. But I do worry and think about school loans and how to pay for it if I get the decent job after 2-4 years.
Hey! i would have responded sooner but I actually forgot I’d posted this, so I didn’t check for updates. Is there a way to be notified of responses?
College has been great for distraction. I’ll let you know where I went wrong ahead of time. I tried for a full 12 units to get financial aid and was denied. My depression naturally hit me full force, and i spent a LOT of time in and out of school fantasizing over how I would kill myself and end my torment. In response, I dropped- everything- but one class. Math. The subject I’m the worst at. Now, that cost me nearly two grand between books and tuition/gas that I’ve spent on college thus far, for no purpose. However, with that much stress gone i can focus on two things: Passing math, a prerequisite for everything else, and finding a new job.
killerkrabs@hotmail.com, if you’d like to message. It’s an email I use for this, so it’s not anything uber personal i can’t give out.
I need a reason and distraction to live other than just for me. Or I am going to die, because I don’t have a reason to lice anymore. I am glad I saw your post and I will research and investigate school loans. If I can pay for it afterwards then I will go. (hopefully) If not and I have to pay along the way. Then I will count myself out like I have been doing
Learning is always a good reason for distraction. I totally didn’t appreciate my first shot at it but now I want to learn about anything and everything lol. I really hope you can work out some funding for your studies of interest…
You’ll need to go to community college first, and honestly, I WOULD NOT recommend going for financial aid or student loans. If you don’t pass, you have to pay all of that aid back, and often times it goes toward rent and you’re screwed with no money. Loans are just a NO. They’ll bite you in the ass.
Pay for one or two community college classes at a time. Focus heavily on math and english, as they’re required for everything and any transfer. that will give you time to adapt to the college life.
Holla at me….
Yo clarity. I could use friends.
killerkrabs @ hotmail . com. I accidentally made it a link the first time.. feel free to hit me up. Hope all is well.
Hey Killermaggot, I read through your posts. Blimey. I. Can’t. Even!
I think you are truly inspirational as tiredthoughts said about getting into college to do a degree. Immerse yourself in the subject you enjoy! Is there any scope for a scholarship? (I’m afraid I’m not from the US so I don’t know how the system works as such). Or do universities have hardship funds available at all?
Sadly I never had good enough maths for computer science/engineering or anything fun like that, but feel free to post your thoughts on how it all goes too. If you feel there’s jack all support from the student societies then we could make up one here instead 😀 “The Student Guild of SP” or something to that effect. 1 rule: Only crazy is allowed 😉
Thank you for the compliment. 🙂
Anything financial aid I see like this: “And then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of the tunnel, was just a freight train coming your way!”
To quote metallica. Thank you so much and I’ll be making another post soon. Maybe even with a picture. Not like I’m afraid of people finding me on here.