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Drowning

by nicole123

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Sometimes I feel like I’m in a body that’s drowning. She’s so sluggish and sad . And tired.

Why can’t I enjoy life like “normal” people ?

I wish I woke up excited to see day instead of wishing I was back to sleep.

It feels like there are demons inside me . Taking over who I am. Erasing the last bit of happiness that I could possibly have.

I always wonder if people understand me, but everyone sees everything differently .

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It’s hard to me to feel connected to people . But that’s all I could ever ask for in life . To feel content next to someone . Someone that I don’t even have to talk to. They just know. I’ve never found anyone like that in my life.

I feel like there are demons in my head . They talk to me and tell me I am nothing. I’ve come to believe it.

Life mostly feels like a dream. Oh well. But my dreams feel more like life than life ever has .

I’ve had a slow day . I hope all of your days were different .

Here’s a good song called “It isn’t meant to be” . It has good lyrics.

I saw this band in concert last summer . Me and my friends road tripped to DC to see them. It was probably one of the best nights of my life .

I like remembering happy days . I don’t have record of a lot.

I hope there is more to come .

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12 comments

Hazy Day Sunflower 1/15/2016 - 7:55 pm

I really love your artwork. I especially like this new set of drawings. They are very graphic art like.

Almost like they could be advertising Finesse Shampoo and Quaker Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal. The child on the end doesn’t want Quaker Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal, he wants Quaker Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. The woman at the top is pondering the heavenly scent of her newly washed mane. Incidentally this is her first time using a Damage Care type shampoo and she is pleasantly surprised but she isn’t the type to wear her emotions on her sleeve

Not interested in life 1/15/2016 - 8:01 pm

Lol

nicole123 1/15/2016 - 8:02 pm

Hahahaha this made me laugh

muspelhem 1/15/2016 - 8:11 pm

Fuck me, this is brilliant XD

muspelhem 1/15/2016 - 8:12 pm

And I didn’t realise these were your drawings Nicole. They’re amazing. The top one is… haunting.

Hazy Day Sunflower 1/15/2016 - 7:55 pm

OH loved the song, very retro.

PhantomCitizen43 1/15/2016 - 8:41 pm

I love your artwork! it is so sincere and real!!!! You are dealing with your own issues through your art and that means so much. Keep doing it. I deal with my own shit through art and get such a release from it. I wish you well. I believe demons are real but I believe when we do good we overcome them. I feel you are a kind soul. Keep moving forward and think positive, do positive and speak positive and I believe you will overcome the issues you are dealing with. Lots of love vibes I send to you.

lilypaddd 1/15/2016 - 9:59 pm

I feel the same in terms of being connected to people. I know that this sounds negative but i think any connection is an illusion and we’re all alone.

Possibly you’re more introspective than many people. Artistic introverted ppl often find it hard to connect… it’s painful i know but it’s not necessarily a bad thing šŸ™‚

nicole123 1/15/2016 - 10:13 pm

I can agree

lilypaddd 1/15/2016 - 10:17 pm

Oh and i mean that – not to sound negative. If anything, for me, it’s liberating because i don’t need to fight so hard to try to get people to like me or understand me, like when i try too hard (i.e. when i try at all because i don’t think you should have to try – be yourself and fuck everyone who has a problem with that) cause when you try you’re compromising your morals/values/pretending to be this fictitious person etc. Anyway rambling. I thought your post was beautiful… and it inspired me. Because I’ve felt exactly the same, thinking someone knows a secret, about how the world works, and when i find out, everything will be ok. And this secret knowledge or approval from someone special will save me. Anyway i don’t even know what im saying now… but i think I understand you. I think you’re a poetic soul and things that seem painful and fucked up can be equally beautiful and inspiring if you look at it in another way… don’t try to be understood… just be yourself… that’s the best thing you could ever do..

lilypaddd 1/15/2016 - 10:20 pm

Or maybe i don’t understand… no i probably don’t. I’ll never know.

nicole123 1/15/2016 - 10:32 pm

I understand everything lol. And thank you . You seem like a great person šŸ™‚

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