Does it sound weird when I say that I feel beautiful on the inside but every time I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly and worthless. That will not get anywhere in life. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Any kind of helpful tips to not feel so down on myself. I would appreciate any kind of tips!
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Hmm… My tip #1 would be to concern yourself with what is within your control. And to let the things you can’t control go. (This is what Stephen R. Covey advocated with his Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.)
You need to find a balance. Everything in life is balance. Being nice and being the good person is not always the answer. Sometimes you need to know that you matter more than anyone else around. Sometimes you need to be selfish and to see that you have needs. So alow yourself to come first, and be nice with your body. Appearance do matter, so allow yourself to see the things you do have. That’s how you will start to notice how much you can like yourself. It was and still is hard for me sometimes , but it works. I promise. So this is your night, comb your hair, moist your skin, wear something you like just because you like its color or because of the way it makes you feel. Step by step, do something nice for you everyday. And be patient.
#2 would be to realise that you probably fear rejection (the possible consequence of ugliness) rather than ugliness in itself.
So instead of focusing too much on how you look, throw away your mirror and focus on being yourself when you’re with other people. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable (look up Brené Brown).
Other people care a lot more about how you make them feel than they care about your looks. I’m not saying looks don’t matter, just that you can to an extent decide how much you want them to matter to you.
#3 would be to remember that the better you feel, the better you look. Do things that are good for you. Fulfill your needs and ask others to fulfill them. Sleep. Play. Inhale some fresh air. Go to the woods. Eat nice food.
#4 and above all: be a part of the tribe. Be you, among other people. Don’t avoid other people because you feel you have to be perfect with them. Love other people because you know they’re imperfect too, so they can relate.
Yup i know how that feels. The thing about ugliness tho is that it’s highly subjective, and i guess it depends if that ugliness you see bothers you because of you, or because of what you think others see when they see you. Regardless if it is 1 or 2 (or both) i guess the route to go is accepting yourself. Being beautiful in the inside is already a pretty rare thing nowadays, so that’s already worth a lot more than your perceived ugliness. Plus, everything that you see in the mirror is seen by everyone else differently… and again, it’s just your perception. worthlessness can’t be actually “seen” so my guess is that… yup, acceptance is needed. Everyone has good and bad things, so you might be just being to hard on yourself there.
I see someone with bad hair when I look in the mirror. And old. Um. I need to get rid of the fucking mirrors.