I have been trying to push through but some days it gets too hard. I am not who I wish I were and I cannot have the impact that I wish I could have. I feel like I am useless and can’t help anyone. I feel like I’m stupid to try. Feel like I can’t help myself. Feel like there is no point living. feel like things are always tumbling but that sometimes i close my eyes and I can’t tell that they are. It feels like every time i open my eyes things are still melting away but I try to hide these feelings anyway.
I come undone. I come undone. I’m undone. I’m done.
I need to figure this all out. I need to push through. i need to not cry. I won’t do it. none of this is real . depression tricks me to be miserable all of the time but life is misery. It’s misery.