I need to know how crazy I am. I cut, burn, choke myself, abuse prescription and over the counter pills, and sometimes drive with my eyes closed to see if anything will happen. Sometimes I don’t think any of this is a big deal. I’ve grown to live like this almost constantly for the past year. Other times, I find myself sobbing, wondering what I’ve become. Is this a lot of self harm compared with others? I don’t know where I stand compared with other self harmers/suicide contemplators. I don’t know if I’m alone in this level of self hatred, or if there are others who do this amount of shit to themselves too.
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8 comments
Please don’t drive with your eyes closed. You’ll end up killing someone else and surviving. A lot of people here do a lot of self harm you are not alone. You’re in pain you don’t deserve to label yourself crzy. You’re probably a good person who should talk to someone about everything. We’re all here to listen.
Thank you. Lately, all my self harm isn’t enough for me. I want something to happen. I’m not talking about dying, although sometimes that can seem nice. I just want some sort of damage to be done, you know? But you’re right–it’s not fair for others if I drive with my eyes closed.
I presume there’s a lot of people who self harm this much, I choke myself and cut too etc. Never heard of driving with your eyes closed; I agree with deadmanliving
Have you ever passed out from choking yourself before?
Well it’s too crazy.
Please be gentle on yourself.
What I’m missing ?
A college kid, no friends, no gf/bf, completely alone, some tragedy, no one loves you n all.
Be gentle. 🙂 love yourself. You are not alone in this. Since you have reached here you know many of us are suffering. Self harming isn’t gonna make it better but it can make it more wrose than it already is.
So please be gentle.
Take care. 🙂
I don’t think you’re crazy, but then again, tbh I don’t think anyone here is crazy. Just a little misguided sometimes and that’s usually temporary.
I agree with Peace, take it easy and please, if possible, be gentle on yourself, inside and out…
Hi,
I’m the exact same way, but I don’t think I hate myself. Although I’m not sure I hate anything. I think the only time I have cut myself out of spite was when I was sexually assaulted. I felt disgusting and I thought that if I cut deep enough, maybe I could bleed myself clean. But, I was just thoroughly upset and I wasn’t thinking clearly.
The point is, you aren’t alone. I often think about driving into a tree. I want to feel immense pain. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it, but it makes me feel alive. Im numb and unemotional.
People do weird shit for different reasons. But don’t think you are strange or alone, we all have our scars. Some are just better at hiding theirs.
What helps me sometimes is laughter. When I’m laughing, I’m not thinking about wanting to self harm.
Hey, Im jessie . I am not here to judge you or disapprove of your choice just to lend a hand of support. So when your ready to talk im here. I run a kik program called LetsHelpEveryone were our goal is to help teens over come emotional and mental issues that only teens can relate to. Our reason for this is that everyone deserves a help hand , no one should go through things alone. If your are looking for advice or help kik us at LetsHelpEveryone where help is one text away.
If this is not for you please discard this message and have a beautiful evening. 🙂