I feel like theres no reason to live. I’m not moving forward, I’m unemployed, Im not interested in anything. I don’t want to do drugs again but I feel thats the only thing that helps me sleep, and forget all of last year. It blends time together, I have no real skills, my only friends get high and I just move nowhere. I tried talking to that girl. I know I shouldnt have, I guess you could say that I’m weak. Pathetic as she would say. She humors me, but just to get her point through. I don’t want to date, but I do. But i got no job or friends that I could count on. I might have to work at a supermarket if I really want to work again. But my main problem is the ex. The not liking anything. The wanting to not try living because I failed at everything else. And if I do drygs again I got a real chance of OD ing. And I think thats what I want. To erase my memory and die in the process. I live on the east. Dealt with the blizzard. This time last year i was at my happiest. I fall attached too easily. I’m just the wrong kind of human waiting around for what? Anothet girl? To tear my own heart out again? I regret my whole being. Oh, but I’m loved by my family.. So thats why I should stay? I say F’ that. While they’re all doing the whole living thing together. While I struggle with and cope to do things alone, and be alone. I should just stay? I had a future lastyear. It was ok to not have a great job and i get attached or whatever. Why cant i be someones someone. I date and hate that its not who i want. I give up. I want to just die or move away but i cant go nowhere. I thought about making a fb again.. But what for? so i can see all the happy pics and stuff i dont like. Damn..me!
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Don’t fb, that’s one of the most depressing things ever. But hey, my guess: let go of that person before you let go of yourself. Let her go for real. I can’t tell much, but stepping back now isn’t for cowards because you know it will hurt a lot in the long way. Let go of that idea too, set your mind to the fact that that’s not a possibility.
And yes, easier said than done, but works.
Just mean to say, I ve read what you wrote…
I am so touched by your story I’m sending you a virtual hug. We have to support each other. You matter and it’s OK to need help. No matter how many times.
I know, I know it was wrong. She moved away. It wasn’t anything I did. It just has to be. We were together and then not. Everyone else is right. I just miss my old self. And the thoughts and hopes I used to have. Now Im back to same old me. Hopeless. I stepped back time after time.
I’m right there with you TiredThoughts, Its Monday and I’m just done, Again. What energy I have is with you Really Did I say that ?? I’m gonna start writing for Hallmark. Ill be here ALLDAY ….. dam I hate mylife
Damn.. My bad, Thanks, Two trees. Ibwas going to write. I’m trying to be ok. I found a friend, well he found me. Trying to just look forward and eating food and listening to food. Sober like. Just hanging in there.
Ha i wrote listening to food. I meant music
And thanks moneypenny and theresa.you’re comnents help. So does the beatles music. I hope yous are ok too
Its going to be okay. Take it from me, you shouldn’t go back to drugs. If you want to find someone who will truly love you, then avoid the drugs. It’ll work out how its supposed to.