I hate myself so much, i’m a bad person and I get bored of everything so easily which I’m sick of. I don’t like being around my family, or most adults because they look down on my, ignore me and they get so overwhelmed with just little things.
I was going to wait three more years so I could leave everything, but to be honest I don’t think I will be able to wait that long. I have been depressed for a long time and there is not way it’s getting better. I don’t really know what to do. I think I will cut myself when I get the chance but I don’t really feel there is any reason for me to live, there’s nobody I know in real life or that I’m at least close to online that would understand me or like the same things I do either, so it’s not as though i’m going to miss anyone.
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You gave yourself 3 years? I’m looking at 13 years. I’m 22 right now. 13 years of going through this shit. Every single day is a struggle. I wonder how I’ll make it through 13 years. Reason for my 13 years is the family. Gotta make sure they are well taken care of, and it will take me that long.
Anyway, we all have our little bit of weird. What is normal anyway? No one understands me. I think we are on the same boat here. I have no friends, just family.
As for the cutting…. I’ve been doing that quite a lot lately. Things haven’t been great lately. I feel my reason to live is making me feel stuck. Trapped here when I so desperately want to die.
I just went on and on there about myself. Sorry. Really hope you find a reason to live though, and live more than the 3 years you’ve limited yourself to.
Thank’s but 3 years is how long I have until I can leave. I will be 18 then and hopefully will be able to live on my own, get out of school and go away. The only thing is I don’t think I could wait that long, I don’t see the point of waiting that long, I have a purposeless life anyways.
Even if I don’t commit suicide now, I will one day commit suicide, planning to around 30 tbh, I would rather not live to be old and have a boring life and have complete control over my death.