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no purpose

by souptool

I was standing outside staring at a tree and realized that tree was doing more for the world than I am. There’s no reason for me to be here I have nothing to offer. My life’s a joke.

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Cordless 1/31/2016 - 3:47 am

1. From a biological standpoint, one could say that you benefit the tree by exhaling carbon dioxide, which plants take in the same way we breathe oxygen.

2. From a human standpoint, one could say that unlike the tree, you have the gift of speech, creativity, thought, and compassion, which makes you worth more (and makes you capable of helping others, even if it’s through a kind word said to a stranger).

souptool 1/31/2016 - 4:09 am

There’s no argument that there’s definitely a symbiotic relationship for all life and all matter.

But a tree also dosent do any of the horrible things I’ve done and will most likely continue to do. Trees Dont hurt people or themselves. Can I change? Probably. Will I? What’s the point. At the end of the day I’m a small life in a small world on an inconprehensivly massive scale. I’m better off dead and in the ground, at least then bugs can eat me and I’ll provide life. Which again is just another pointless continuum of life.

souptool 1/31/2016 - 4:08 am

There’s no argument that there’s definitely a symbiotic relationship for all life and all matter.

But a tree also dosent do any of the horrible things I’ve done and will most likely continue to do. Trees Dont hurt people or themselves. Can I change? Probably. Will I? What’s the point. At the end of the day I’m a small life in a small world on an inconprehensivly massive scale. I’m better off dead and in the ground, at least then bugs can eat me and I’ll provide life. Which again is just another pointless continuum of life.

Cordless 1/31/2016 - 4:24 am

At the end of the day, EVERYONE is “a small life in a small world on an incomprehensively massive scale.”

And yet people still somehow manage to find ways to help others, even in tiny ways.

As far as the bad things we’ve done in our past… I’m personally hoping we (me included) can do good things to try to make up for the past. I hope that somehow it will count favorably that at least we tried.

Alfred Nobel was the guy who invented dynamite.
He felt bad about the fact that he invented something which would end up killing a lot of people.
He didn’t want to be remembered as that person, so he left his life savings to establish the Nobel Peace prizes. That way people would remember him for something good, and would hopefully not judge him too harshly for the other things.

souptool 1/31/2016 - 4:39 am

I appreciate your words, that’s an interesting fact about the dynamite. It’s a matter of perspective I guess. Mabey I just feel really shitty about the things I’ve done and I’m beating myself up like I always do. Guess it’s good to talk about it for once.
I’m just so stuck in this rut! The last I can’t remember how many years I’ve been telling myself one more year. Wait til next year mabey it’ll get better.. I get worse every year the things I do the longer I live the more I hurt people and I get myself into worse situations. Now I’m saying six more months.. even tho I semi tried again last night.. think about it about 75 percent of my waking hours.

Anyways.. appreciate your comment. Nice to see someone cares a bit.

Cordless 1/31/2016 - 4:48 am

I think, in varying degrees, we ALL care– it’s just that we don’t all have the energy to speak up and say something.

Speaking for myself, I know there are some days when I feel so “broken” that I can’t bring myself to respond to posts here– but I still read the posts anyway, and I still feel compassion for the people who are hurting. It reminds me I’m not the only one who is suffering terribly, and I’m not the only one who wishes for a peaceful end.
I feel bad sometimes when I don’t respond to every post; I just don’t have the energy for it. I hope people will forgive me for that. I still care what they’re going through, even if I can’t put my thoughts into words.

I need to follow my own advice and keep that in mind when almost no one comments on my own posts; instead I often feel like no one cared enough to answer.
But maybe, like me, they did care– they just didn’t have enough energy to say so.

Moneypenny 1/31/2016 - 4:55 am

Hey cordless, I’ve read some of your posts and I thank your words, you have make me smile in times I thought I wouldn’t. 🙂

Cordless 1/31/2016 - 4:58 am

Aww.
Thank you!
🙂

souptool 1/31/2016 - 4:57 am

This actually made me feel alot better.
Thank you.
I might even sleep tonight 🙂

Cordless 1/31/2016 - 4:59 am

Good night, and (hopefully) sweet dreams.

Moneypenny 1/31/2016 - 5:03 am

Well I was thinking that even trees are self centered because they need to take water and resources they need for themselves to survive, taking it away from other living things that may have needed them too. and sometimes we hurt others taking or doing things for ourselves, but it doesn’t mean we are bad people. At the same time we are hurting some, we may be helping others without knowing we are.
But you, as a person have more decisions power, and you can aways start over, you don’t have to be a philanthropist to be worthy of living. But you can try to live a good life… idk

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