Sad for no reason

For some reason, these past few days, I’ve been really sad, but I don’t know why. My life’s been pretty ok these past few weeks. I mean I had a meltdown on Monday because I had to go apply to college and I don’t want to do college. But I have to because I can’t move out because I don’t have a car and I don’t make enough money to support myself which I learned last semester. And the only reason why I moved back in with my parents was because I hated it more at the last college I was at. But anyways, I start classes on tuesday and that is something I am definitely not looking forward to. I’m currently working at a restaurant that I worked at before I went to that other college. And I’m okay with that. It isn’t too terrible there. Only one of my coworkers hates me, and probably hates me even more after she under tipped me $3 when I was busing and some of my other coworkers had a talk with her about it. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but overall, I don’t make much busing and if it isn’t busy I get screwed over usually. I’ve had problems with that girl since the day I met her. Everytime I bus she avoids me till the last possible second and makes up shitty excuses as to why I have to wait 5more minutes for my tip when I could’ve easily been gone 15minutes before. But other than her it’s not too bad. One of the servers there is really cute and I think he’s interested in me but I suck at knowing that stuff and I honestly doubt he’ll ask me out. But he did tip me like $4 more than he should’ve tonight so I don’t know what that means. So my life is okay right now.
I haven’t talked to my person in about a month even though I want to, but I don’t want to intrude on his life. I may text him on Tuesday and tell him that I’m back in college and stuff and maybe see if I can hang out with him sometime. I think maybe because I haven’t talked to him in a while is why I might be sad. I’ve been on the verge of tears the past two days. And I haven’t been feeling the brain numbness/emotional numbness I get when I am depressed this week really until earlier this night at work. I don’t know.
I want things to happen. I want that cute coworker to ask me out. I want to get in a job where I can actually financially support myself. I want to have my own car. I want to talk to my person.
But I don’t have control over those wants. I can push to get them, but it’s someone else who has the final decision in it. And I’m just sad. And I don’t know why.