Things are Always Changing

Things have changed since I last posted. I had my first fender-bender, my boyfriend broke up with me same day, my cat almost dies, and I had to move back in with my parents. So where to begin? It was a normal day and I had to run some errands so I told him I loved him and went on my way. I proceeded to barely hit a parked car. The only damage was my broken headlight. I called him crying and freaking out. I got home where he proceeded to break up with me. Not to mention this was the day before Thanksgiving, I cried for hours, called my mom and transferred my job to a new place since I knew I had to move back. He finally woke up hugged me and said maybe he reacted too quickly that we should have a trial week. So we cuddled and slept and were together… for only 3 days. He said I hadn’t changed enough in that time period and that it was over. Again, I cried for hours. Couldn’t even make it through a shift at work without crying. So, here enters the cat. I was sewing a pair of his pants up and happened to lose a small amount of thread. She got sick I didn’t know what was wrong. took her to 2 different vets. In the end she had eaten the thread. My ex drove me back to my home town so the cat could have emergency surgery. She lived, but he acted like nothing was wrong between us until the last 20 miles. He then proceeded to insult me and give me tips for how to not ruin my next relationship. The next weekend my dad helped me go back and get all of my things where my ex proceeded to piss me off. Honestly, I am sad about this, but I know that it was for the best. I just have to completely convince myself of this fact. He mentally and emotionally abused me every single day. The bad days were more frequent than the good. I love him and part of me always will, but I was lucky to get out of that situation before he physically hurt me. So many aren’t as lucky as I was. I will always remember our hikes in the park, the orange fight we had, the fourth of July we spent fixing his car, and even my birthday where he took me to my favorite restaurant for my favorite food. I will always choose to remember the good things about him, even when he continues to be an asshole to me now. I got to leave that place, but he is stuck in that apartment we picked out, with the furniture we picked out, and all the things that will remind him of me. Whereas I only have a head full of memories. I will try and stay cut free, but those are only words. He was the only reason I stopped and now that he is gone…. I have no reason to stay that way.