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1st time post.. to all sp’ers and to cordless

by wintersportnut

hello.. this is my very first post. I have been lurking since the day that twix started posting. She touched me quite deeply, and made me wish that I could leave, as well. I don’t really want to die, but I have completely forgotten how to live. I also have no energy to live. Since I started lurking I have read almost all the posts, they help me on a daily bases. Each one of you is perfectly unique. I especially enjoy the posts and comments of cordless. You are so careful with your words, and show amazing grace and humility. It will take me a while to open completely, but I find that it could be quite helpful for me, as I find it almost impossible to open up or do most anything in the real world. Thank you to each one for just being who is are, and I am grateful for each one that shares. I already consider each one my friend even though you don’t know me yet. I look forward to sharing laughing and crying in the future.

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23 comments

Cordless 2/21/2016 - 1:22 am

Welcome, and thank you for the nice compliment. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I agree that Twix left a lasting impression.

And I totally agree about not having enough energy left to live.
Everything takes energy, in the same way that almost everything costs money.
Most days, energy-wise, I feel like I’m trying to buy a new car with a five-dollar-bill.

Anyway, it’s good to have you here, and I’m glad you’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s posts and comments!

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 3:05 am

I admire the things you endure. As far as I know my body is fit as a fiddle, yet my yucky brain makes me not want to move or do anything..

whiskered-fish 2/21/2016 - 1:26 am

Salutations, sportsnut! ๐Ÿ™‚ Welcome aboard. Your words are so touching. I really hope you can find some camaraderie here, and maybe even some strength and hope.

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 1:31 am

haha thanks.. whiskered fish.. you are one of my faves as well.. shhh don’t tell.

whiskered-fish 2/21/2016 - 1:46 am

I am? Wow…I don’t know what to say! Thanks! ๐Ÿ˜€

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 1:50 am

@ whiskered fish… yes I like your honesty and the way you state things.. like my grandpa used to say, I don’t care what the president says I think you are pretty cool.

whiskered-fish 2/21/2016 - 2:03 am

Your grandpa sounds like he was a pretty awesome guy. ๐Ÿ™‚

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 2:08 am

He was amazing.. he is a good example for a lot of us.. he made a billion mistakes and could be quite an a hole to other a holes but towards me, HE was the sweatest most caring guy. He had lots and lots of sayings.. like I’m going to do that on the sperm of the moment or a not so nice one like telling my grandma she could mess up her own wet dream…

whiskered-fish 2/21/2016 - 2:15 am

Haha, I’m glad to hear that he has left you with happy memories. It’s so wonderful when people leave us enough good or funny memories to counterbalance the pain of their passing.

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 1:29 am

thank you.. cordless.. I am pretty amazed that I was able to sign up and post this quickly. I did not want to miss out on these friendships, any longer. Sometime I feel like tv is real and real life is tv… or maybe I wish that was the case.

Morris 2/21/2016 - 1:30 am

I guess stalkers are only creepy after they start making threats.

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 1:34 am

ha.. Morris, no threats here.. I am an encourager.. messed up enough stuff in my life..

Not interested in life 2/21/2016 - 2:00 am

Hello ๐Ÿ™‚

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 2:03 am

Hello…not interested in life.. thank you for all the posts you share, they have helped me to live another day!

Not interested in life 2/21/2016 - 2:32 am

Its nice to have you have you here. Please do stick around, and feel free to share what you like ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thanks. My posts are just… I don’t know. When i first joined in 2013 I think?! i wrote alot more posts about suicide, I still do, but I just write now, …

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 2:46 am

that’s great.. can’t wait to read more.. it’s amazing how we can all make each other feel just a little better.

ToTrees 2/21/2016 - 11:19 am

**sniff sniff**

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 11:57 am

do you hAve a cold

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/21/2016 - 12:29 pm

Sunday morning at SP. welcome to the forum. Great group of people here. I imagine the lurkers as this cloud of satellites orbiting around planet SP. Sometimes they decide to land for a while and stay, which is nice.

sportsnut 2/21/2016 - 12:40 pm

Thanks hazy… I enjoy your writing and the heart that it exemplifies. I appreciate you taking the time to say hi, it’s like recovering the satellites

Kaylee_Dee 2/22/2016 - 2:15 am

I noticed you posted on something I posted earlier and now I can’t find it to respond. I was all caught up in my Hunger Games movie….oh maybe that was it! LOL Sorry It’s 7am over here and I dozed off right after the movie. Now I am awake again, dear me. Well, off to put the kettle on and start the fire up again. Might as well stay awake for a bit longer even though I have no good reason to do so.

Why did I start this post again? Oh right, right, right….pardon me, I wanted to say hello and welcome.

Cheers!

sportsnut 2/22/2016 - 3:51 am

hi kaylee Dee… how are you doing… how was your munching and movie night

iamtheblues 3/3/2016 - 5:29 am

Good morning SportsNut,

It’s 4AM and I’m awake and getting ready for work. Why? Nothing better to do, I suppose. I do feel your pain. Your comment concerning not really wanting to die, but having completely forgotten how to live; having no energy to live, is something I struggle with on a daily basis. It really hits home, as I have (for the most part) lost all fascination with existence. The things that used to bring me joy, don’t really do anything for me anymore. For years I’ve been caught in this endless cycle of get a job, struggle like hell just to get through each day, endure maybe a year or two, quit the job, find another one, lather, rinse, repeat. Yeah, what’s the point to any of this? There is no point. But I keep trying nonetheless.

Your other comment (each one of you is perfectly unique) really hit me deep; it is SO true. I wish more people could be like you. The world would be more endurable then. For most of my life I have taken that very idea to the next level. It’s one of the main reasons why I’m a vegetarian. I see every single life form as unique. I’ve had a lot of pets in my life. Each one of them had different personalities; each one of them were unique. I know this is also true for all animals. And with each one that we kill, it lessens the world that much more. At least that’s the way I feel about it. I know I cannot stop the killing, so I simply opted out of the equation. Nonetheless, I live in constant pain thinking of all the suffering that we humans inflict on the world (the animals and each other as well). Isn’t life difficult enough without us creating more suffering? Heavy shit, I know.

I also agree with you about Cordless. Cordless shares some amazing posts… and music as well.

Again, thanks for being my friend! I hope you have a good day. I’ll try harder just knowing you’re here in the world.

Respectfully,
Jack

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