Well, I just landed down in old Mexico. I’ve gotten my hands on 3 bottles of “N” (no reason to leave it to chance) and I’m preparing my farewell.
Life, it’s been real, so glad to see you go. Tonight, I eat, drink, party, do what I do best according to some ppl wake up the next day lay beachside for the day then make my way back to the resort and “drink” myself to “sleep”.
This is it, I’m finally here. Thank the Universe for some small fucking favors.
And thank the net for this site, you guys FUCKING rock!!!!!!! I’ve been lurking on here for a year now, you guys gave me sanity when I need it more than anything and great info. Just wanted to say thanks!
BIG HUGS. Hope you all find what you are looking for!
Sail away to brighter days. In two days, my ship sets sail for the stars….the first star to the left and straight on till morning. That is as poetic as my ass is gonna get…lol It just doesn’t matter anymore.
13 comments
Hey, do you mind sharing a bit about yourself before you go. You are leaving anyway and I wish you peace in your journey. Just curious about what led you to this decision.
Life of severe sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse….it’s a fairly long list honestly. I’m in my 30’s and no matter what I try nothing changes. I’ve been done for a very long time. I can no longer find the words to even say what I really want to say anymore. I just realize, enough is enough, its better for everyone as a whole that I completely disappear.
Funny how long it too me to know who I really am. Now, I can go down with a smile on my face while I say “fuck you” to the world as I drift away. I am actually deliriously happy at the moment, (so this is happy….huh) of course that could be the two shots of rum I have had…idk, take your pick.
BTW, thanks for reaching out. I have read so many of your post and threads, I have always enjoyed them.
I’m sorry the world has been so cruel to you, Twix.
I’m still searching for the real me. I wonder what it feels like to fully know your real self.
I always have this thought that my final day will be happiest day of my life.
It might be the alcohol that’s making you so deliriously happy. It could also be the thought of finally being free.
Glad you’ve enjoyed reading my weird posts. Hope they helped you somehow.
I wish you all the best in your journey.
Hugs.
Knowing who I really am, is comforting to a degree as I’ve resigned myself to it. But at the same it’s scarey as hell bc I’m all they ever said I was.
Your post were some of the best. I had a few ppl on here i followed closely. Ohhh…does that now make me a stalker? I’ll add that to the list of who I am now. Lmao
I’m fairly sober now, still very happy, yet highly reflected. Knowing it’s coming to a quiet close is so comforting.
I’m sitting pool side with chips and salsa and a fresh new drink… night light here is about to begin. Party hard tonight, take the day tomorrow to relax on the beach and just….be.
I hope u find d yourself one day….it’s an interesting feeling.
Have you ever posted before?
Never posted. Only lurked. I figured if I can’t figure my own shit out I couldn’t help anyone else. So I’ve listened in silence.
I wish you a gentle journey. I’ll leave you with a new music finding.
youtube.com/watch?v=uTC9lLdQALk
It might be nice to listen to some groovy music on the beach.
Thanks going to download that to my phone so I can trip out with the waves crashing all around.
Hope u journey well iv lost the courage to call it a day again hopefully I find the strength to try again if things don’t get better I guess there is only so much one person can take
Thank you. I hope you find your *higher* ground.
Hay guys were can I find out what N is I’m curious
Farewell and Godspeed. I’m sorry to hear things have been so bad, but I’m really happy you’re finally enjoying things and feeling relaxed. *Hugs*
P.S. I think you’re gonna be a part of every future rainbow 😀
Thank you.
I’ll do my best to send a special rainbow to all my SP friends. I hope you are right@future rainbow. I would like to think I finally get to become part of something beautiful.