A lovely post concerning a girl. Had you goin’ for a bit there, didn’t I?

In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip.  It was pure randomness, chaos that brought her into my life, and I can only hope that the chaos that gave her to me doesn’t take her away from me. Maybe it wouldn’t be the chaos that caused me to lose her. Maybe it would be the demons and monsters that lie within myself that forced her away. A small part of me sees myself for the beast I am, with a heart of fool’s gold and a silver tongue, and that such a beast can only cause hurt and destruction. The rest of me turns a blind eye to risk that lies beneath the surface, but somehow it still terrifies me. To think that my traitorous mind could force me to lose this thing, this light, is horrendous and it should terrify me, regardless of my beastliness. She makes all of those doubts leave me though. Speaking to her reassures me that my presence here does have its good as well as its bad. She swears that I saved her, and if not for me she would have left this cruel and dark world, and that both warms my heart and chills it. It warms my heart because it makes me feel as though I’m actually worth something, but it chills my heart to think that this world could have lost this beacon of goodness in a sea of darkness and pain.