Here’s a few of my daily persecutions from my spouse. Please, comment on your perspective of who’s correct, incorrect, or whatever.
#1 It’s “Emotional Cheating” if I talk feelings to anyone but her, relative or not. Also, if I’m “There for them” in any circumstance. So yes, SP would count as cheating, to her I’m trying to bed all of you.
#2 It’s “Immature” to walk away from situations too intense or confrontational for me. I should hash it out till a resolution is reached.
#3 It’s “Unfair” to expect alone time. Work is my away time, all the rest is her or kids, but mostly her.
#4 I can’t possibly “Be a decent Parent” if she’s not happy with me. Good parents are good spouses first.
#5 It’s “Unreasonable” to be too busy with work to promptly respond to her every call and text.
#6 It’s “Narcissistic” to put myself before others, in defense, I rarely do but I do try persistently.
#7 It’s “Abusive” to be overwhelmed with someone and want to break away, especially since I’m always guilty of #1…
20 comments
Sorry, sounds like it sucks to be you. Is there any way you can get a separation? Where you can maybe move out and see the kids just on the weekends or something? She probably won’t let you be “free” (sounds like she rather enjoys being a pain in the ass) but I think you had said at a previous post that divorce (alimony) would be too expensive.
Idk, it just sounds like she’s sucking the soul out of you. The longer you stay in the situation, the more insane you’ll become.
The financial problem, is she doesn’t want to be independent. So I either keep footing the tab for her, and be homeless, or put her and my kids on the streets. Since my job frequently travels, and is 14-18 hour days, custody isn’t really an option.
Even if, she decided to cooperate and spectate, (won’t happen) she’s already said more money will be required above court ordered or she’ll make it hell to see the kids.
It is against the law for her to defy court ordered visitation and make it hard for you to see your children. Child support and visitation are completely separate. You don’t have to pay child support to see your children and she can not block visitation because you haven’t paid. It is flat out illegal. She needs to brush up on child custody.
Yeah, we’re both aware of the law. Her point is I pay additional, above the court ordered amount, or she makes it difficult on me to see kids. My schedule is kind of erratic, so doing visitation, would be very hard in good circumstances, with her cooperation.
How old are your kids?
22, 28, 30.
3&1
Too bad you don’t have Harry Potter wand to make her disappear!
Jesus, that’s at least another 17 years! You gotta do something. Idk what, but I don’t think you can take 17 more years of this!
Right, I have to hide calls to and from my mom even… Or I’m cheating… Really…
No clue what to do though..
Have you cheated on her in the past, or has she cheated on you?
I think that she’s wrong about most of this, although the emotional connection thing is tricky because if you talked about your feelings with someone who *could* be a possible love interest, the two of you likely would start to develop a ‘romantic attachment to each other. That is why I don’t get close to anyone of the opposite gender/who I might be attracted to, when in a relationship. I’m trying to save myself the drama. However, that’s something that should be up to each individual’s discretion.
In my humble opinion, the ideal is that when you’re satisfied in your romantic relationship, you’d be each others best friend and you’d *want* to share your thoughts with one another. If you have a couple platonic friends whom you’re also close with, that’s cool, but if you don’t treat your partner as your #1, and that’s what they want you to do… you’re probably incompatible.
My comment went to moderation. Forgot and used p@rtner.
She sounds horrible
I was that typical guy who “just wanted someone” there. Lol, careful what you wish for…
Your are married to the female counterpart of my crazy ex husband. She isn’t threatening to kill you is she? Not kidding here either. What she is doing is abusive, very abusive.
OH and just a thought, if you are making all the money and you aren’t doing anything wrong, just ignore her. Let her file for divorce, she doesn’t have the money to pay for a lawyer anyway. I hope you are keeping track of your money.
Yeah, I definitely have the money. She won’t file though. She’s convinced I’m going to I dunno come around I guess? Like everything would be perfect in her eyes if I’d just conform.
Well it is total bullshit either way. Conforming isn’t the answer. Her getting mental health treatment is the answer. What can she possibly do? Make her go to couples counseling. I can testify that it is about the worst torture in the world. She will allow you to do what ever your heart desires just to stop the pain.
Tried, multiple times. Tried pastors. Tried friends, family… Tried individual counseling. Hence her stance nobody understands us except us…
Yup, she sounds like a sociopath.