Confucius -repost

So I decided to take off my post of shouting, I said thing I shouldn’t have said. Sorry about it, was too aggressive.

But I am rescuing Rocketman’s list of Confucius sayings 🙂 for the posterity. Do enjoy it.

Thanks to Alan and to Rocketman for you support today.

the idea as you know is to make fun of a very wise man Confucius! hey when he started making all these sayings he must of known he would also be a target for silliness!  you don’t have to read them all but here are a few.

Confucius Jokes That are up to Speed

Confucius say: Man who run in front of car get tired

Confucius say: Man who run behind car get exhausted

Confucius say: Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!

Confucius say: Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling

Confucius Quotes about the Confusing Consequences of Consummation

Confucius say: He who fish in other man’s well often catches crabs

Confucius say: State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.

Confucius say: Baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Confucius say: Man who bounce woman on bedspring this spring, have offspring next spring.

Confucius Jokes about the Simple Joys of Clothing’s Potentials

Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day

Confucius say: Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.

Confucius say: Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!

Confucius say: Woman who absentmindedly answer the door in her nightie is “Negligent”

Funny Confucius Sayings That Make a Clean Breast of It

Confucius say: Man who suck woman’s tit make clean breast of things.

Confucius say: Man who want to catch a bra, should set a boobie trap.

Confucius say: Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.

Confucius say: Man who pulls on woman’s bra-strap, may get bust in mouth.

Confucius Funny Sayings That Are Really Hot

Confucius say: Man who put cock on stove have hot rod.

Confucius say: He who stick head in oven get baked bean.

Confucius say: Man who sit on hot stove will rise again.

Confucius Say Jokes about Practical Hands-on Experiences

Confucius say: Man who plays with titty gets bust in mouth.

Confucius say: Man in shower playing with tool not necessarily plumber.

Confucius say: Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change.

Confucius say: Boy who goes to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Confucius say: Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!

Untouched and Pristine Confucius Sayings

Confucius say: Virginity like bubble. One prick – all gone!

Confucius say: A virgin, sleeping on a waterbed is called ‘cherry float’.

Confucius say: Virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick.

Confucius Sayings That Are a Real Mouthful

Confucius say: When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.

Confucius say: Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face.

Confucius say: Man with tool in woman’s mouth not necessarily dentist.

Confucius say: Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete’s tongue!

Confucius Say Jokes – chinese porcelain doll figurine
Confucius Jokes about Material Pleasures

Confucius say: Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk.

Confucius say: Man who live in glass house should change in basement.

Confucius say: Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for joy.

Confucius say: Man who screws cook in pantry often gets ass in jam.

Confucius say: Husband who sleep on couch last night, have hard time today.

Confucius say: Man who fall into an upholstery machine, eventually be fully recovered.

Confucius say: Man who sink into woman’s arms soon have arms in woman’s sink.

Confucius Quotes That Warn You: ‘Not Stick Nose in’

Confucius say: He who sniffs coke, gets ice cube up nose.

Confucius say: A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

Confucius say: Man who keeps nose to the grindstone, have sharp boogers.

Confucius say: Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook.

Confucius say: Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.

Funny Confucius Quotes Said in Sport

Confucius say: Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Confucius say: Girl should not marry basketball player: he dribbles before he shoots.

Confucius say: Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.

Confucius say: Basketball player who marry midget lady will be nuts over her.

Confucius say: Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Confucius say: Hockey player on ice have big stick.

Random funny stuff from Confucius

Confucius say: Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Confucius say: He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

Confucius say: Hole happy, whole body happy.

Confucius say: Man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose.

Confucius say: Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

Confucius say: Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.

Confucius say: Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

Confucius say: Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say: Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

Confucius say: Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

Confucius say: Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind.

Confucius say: Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.

Conducive say say: Man with no legs bums around.

Confucius say: Find old man in dark, not hard!

Confucius say: Man who smoke pot choke on handle.

Confucius say: If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Confucius say: Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!