One thing about being in a stretch of insomnia is that the rest of you are probably sound asleep, dreaming amazing dreams while I am sitting here typing.
Random things I think about while sitting here alone and awake:
If insomnia kills brain cells, I will probably forget my ABC’s by this time next week. Who am I again?
If, after we die, we get to go to another world where our wishes finally get granted, I would love to live in a tiny seaside cottage with a wonderful guy who honestly loves me. It would be wonderful if he played the cello. I picture a flower bed of Stargazer Lilies and one lemon tree in the yard. This would be worth dying for. And if for some reason I can never have this, I just don’t want to live at all anymore.
I wonder about cheap blueberry muffin mix, and how on earth someone invented fake blueberry bits.
There was an episode of “Frasier” where Frasier was explaining Mock Apple Pie to his dad (Martin), saying they use Ritz crackers instead of apples. Martin dryly replied “Oh, good… nothing ruins an apple pie like apples.”
I think about the bass player/keyboard player for R.E.M. (Mike Mills).
Had a crush on him forever… he used to be such an adorable nerd type… I have a thing for nerd types. Then he went cutesy-boy-toy curly blond (which was also hot), and these days he’s scraggly gray haired. I hear he’s a nice guy, I just wish people didn’t have to get old and gray.
Enough rambling, I guess.
It’s 6:30 in the morning here now, and some of you might be waking up soon.
I got insomnia to didn’t get no sleep last night either sigh that who am I part did make me laugh
Sometimes my insomnia flips around my sleep-schedule so I’m awake all night long and sleep for awhile during the day.
I call it my “Dracula Hours”.
Dracula probably would have hated fake blueberry bits too.
drizzle it with type O blood! 😀
all of our food is fake these days. just sad.
Dracula hour haha yeah it messes up your body clock bad if I have to go college after a night with no sleep oh am I depressed bad then my anxiety starts up then if I have to focuses in college the adha kicks in its a Total nightmare
I remember when I was in college I could stay up all night long if I wanted (and sometimes did, because I had a bad habit of putting off my term papers until the last possible moment).
These days, going without sleep is like building a snowman in front of a campfire. Logic melts away, and nothing gets accomplished.
Yeah it’s so true snowman I front of a fire
I like those blueberry bits !!!
I will gladly give you all the fake blueberry bits I find.
I like real blueberries so much better.
Berries in general are comfort food for me.
Juicy, seed-filled comfort, capable of staining good clothes.
A few years back I was playing with baking muffins, I separated all the Crunchberries out of 2 boxes and baked them in a banana bread it was awful
Actually it sounds good…. I wonder why it was awful.
I vaguely remember Crunch Berries having a tart flavor… maybe their tartness didn’t blend well with the banana-y sweetness.
Did they stay crunchy, or were they a soggy gloppy mess?
Now I want muffins.
I haven’t eaten at all today.
Nah,, no crunch,
Well, I didn’t get a minute of sleep last night and have to drive to class pretty soon… and deal with more people… and still feel inept for not being able to connect with said people afterward. Yippee… 🙁
I know it’s SO much harder to connect with people while sleep-deprived.
Half the brain is saying “Reach out and listen and pay attention and make a good impression and look intelligent and be amazing!”
The other half of the brain is saying “ghhllllckkk. Mrrey? Zzzzzzzz.”
The seaside cottage and the wonderful guy and the cello….oh and the little garden…all mirror my own…I’ve been chasing that dream for years…except in mine, it would be the violin and he would play as I danced. I’ve searched the world over for this dream, for that man, for the life, for that heart. Like you, I hope that I get to create my world when I pass from here so shortly. But at this point even a dark black void that is full of peace and silence is enough for me.
I once with two weeks straight not sleeping, it fucked up my mental state bad and I lost time and I couldn’t remember certain facts. Luckily the doctor finally admitted me to hospital where they knocked my ass out for a few days and gave my body and mind a chance to restart. Maybe they should have just left me keep going….eventually your brain eats it’s self during the process. Kind of interesting really.
The more time goes on, the more I wonder if I will ever be allowed to have my seaside dream fulfilled.
You mentioned a dark black void… there are times when I also think that even THAT would be better than being without a special someone to enjoy eternity with. Even if the life after this one is supposed to be happy, I don’t think I will be able to be happy if I am still without the kind of love I needed so badly here (and never had).
Sleep is something I just don’t seem to be able to control these days. I would love to be able to take something which would just “knock me out” for a few days like you said.
Or… possibly longer than a few days.
meds mess with your sleep. try to take as few as possible.
Ironic truth: The antidepressant I’m taking is supposed to have “drowsiness” as a side effect.
I love fake blueberry bits and REM
The only thing better would be R.E.M. and real blueberries!