to come up to me with a gun and press the cold steel muzzle against my head and blow my brains out.
I can’t do it myself because I’m a coward. I could hold a razor against my wrists but I could never slit them. I could stand on the edge of a railway platform but I could never jump in front of the train. I could put some pills in my mouth but I could never make myself swallow.
I’m too much of a fucking failure to even kill myself.
6 comments
Your not a failure it takes a lot of courage or a lot of pain to attempt it’s our stay live mechanism we all have that built in your not alone
No you are not a failure. Its just that deep down inside you want to live so you wont go through with it. Whatever problems are troubling you, why don’t you try talking them out and maybe you can get some feedback and find solutions to your problems. There are lot of people here who have experience with these kinds of issues and there are people here who care.
Blued… what’s bothering you this days? Tell your minds concerns… take them away from you and vent
Reminds me of the scene in the movie Fight Club where Brad Pitt takes the convenience store clerk out back, sticks a gun to his head, makes him give him his license and asks him what he really wants to do with his life. The clerk says he always wanted to be a veterinarian. Pitt says, “I’m giving you one week to start to become a veterinarian then I’m going to come and check on you because I’ve got your license. I know where you live. If you haven’t started I’m going to blow your brains out.” So, ya…sometimes we all need someone standing behind us with a gun or other motivation to get us moving. Maybe you don’t really want someone to pull the trigger, but someone who cares enough…who really cares enough to give you a push.
Interesting point! “sometimes we all need someone standing behind us with a gun or other motivation to get us moving”
On the other side, the real hard thing is to find that motivation …
The next time you have a dream and you’re like lucid you can practice dying. You’re not a failure. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Suicide just takes a lot of courage to do. I think when someone’s ready to go like all the way with it, they’ll know. I try to find confidence and inspiration from guys like Kurt Cobain. Put yourself in the shoes of Robin Williams or someone else who managed to do it. Read their stories…