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by secret me

I was hanging in the bathroom by my neck 20 min ago and my legs went numb. I wasnt strong enough, so I let my self down. I’m a 23 year old women and I’m in college. I am very alone. I don’t like to express myself emotionally because I tried it before but no one understood me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who feels like no one in the world understands you- who feels alone. I don’t know where to go or where to turn. I feel suffocate- stuck in a corner- always pretending everything is alright. But I’m tired and I can’t live with the pain I feel inside. Its overwhelming and I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Your probably wondering what happened to me that makes me feel this way.. But honestly, it’s nothing. I just never felt like I belonged- ever since I was a little girl. I had friends all my life and a big family but I always felt alone and misunderstood. Like if I where a different species trying to feel at home but missing something so deep and meaningful. There’s  a big void in my existence but I yet seem not knowing what that void is.


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Cordless 2/27/2016 - 11:47 pm

First, I’m very glad you survived and decided to spend some time here with us instead. (!)

Even though we’re all here because we have considered doing something similar, it still puts a chill in my blood every time I hear someone come that close to dying.

It’s probably true that everyone here has felt like we don’t belong, or that nobody really understands what’s going on. I know I feel that way a LOT.
It helps me just to come here and vent now and then, or at least to try to encourage someone else who might be near their breaking point.

I hope that you’re able to visit us and keep posting, and I hope we can help, even if it’s just by listening.

P.S. Instead of thinking of yourself as “not strong enough”, maybe try thinking of yourself as someone who has SURVIVED a lot of things. You have been strong enough to survive a lot so far. You made it through another day. That’s a lot sometimes.

sportsnut 2/28/2016 - 3:26 am

i am glad you are here with us..if you need someone to talk to please feel free to do so.. i am here

deadmanliving 2/28/2016 - 12:29 pm

We are all here for you. You’re not a different species you are just human. Im glad you aren’t here.

Moneypenny 2/28/2016 - 1:19 pm

Hi Secret,
Don’t worry about a reason to feel what you feel, you don’t need to explain yourself. You can come here and talk and sometimes we will try to give you some advise or to support you. Feel safe. Sometimes there won’t be words, but we will be here for you.
Air your feelings, do some ramblings, make some comments, help us too… and maybe you will feel a little better or at least a little less alone.

secret me 2/28/2016 - 5:52 pm

Thank you all for listening. You all make a difference in someones life and what you do is well appreciated. I do need to work on myself. I just have those bad days but we all do and people like you guys save lives even if you feel like your not doing much, just knowing that people actually listen makes a huge difference in a persons world. Thanks Guys. Ill be here too if anyone needs to talk. You guys pay it forward so ill do the same. This is my first time in this site and it has made a huge impression on me thanks to you guys.

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