I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.
Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; Lately though, I’ve been running so many different scenarios in my head all depicting that she secretly makes fun of me with others and/or secretly finds me annoying and nothing but a burden.
I just don’t know what else to do, everything is becoming too much, and I don’t know what’s real any more.
4 comments
i don’t want to ruin your hope but .. i’ve been there and after 3 years of long-distance relationship in which she cheated on me like 7 or 8 times and ” loved ” me for money , i was just left heartbroken and lonely … i know it’s easier to talk online but it’s dangerous too … I can say it’s easier to be alone and suffer than to expect too much and be left with more suffering and pain and depression and fuck life thoughts … i hope i didn’t offended you or made you sad .. it’s simply my story and opinion . at least i hope it goes well for you .
I’m getting to the point of wanting to end it all, even if I didn’t meet her, or anyone else, I would still be at that point. I hope for a silver lining, but I just can’t see anything good happening in my life.
Everything I ever gain, leaves me very soon after.
Maybe you’re cursed. It happens…Perhaps you should get a cleansing. There are sicker ppl than those of us here who actually go and crack spells at you or visit someone who can attack your energy….in not saying voodoo hoodoo stuff which yea they steal money but your life force rlly can be brought down not just by our own negative thinking So maybe try the law of attraction as hard as it may be cuz when a lot of ppl dislike you it gets to you But trust me they reap what they sow maybe yrs later but I’ve seen it ..don’t feel unjustified about others actions against you or their defamation of your name, live normally even if alone you’ll see that when you are the better person the tables turn in your favor you NVR kno how strong you rlly are until being strong is the only option you have, get there.
That helps. I’m going to try to be strong, hopefully things get better, hopefully my life becomes worth living.