I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.
Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; Lately though, I’ve been running so many different scenarios in my head all depicting that she secretly makes fun of me with others and/or secretly finds me annoying and nothing but a burden.
I just don’t know what else to do, everything is becoming too much, and I don’t know what’s real any more.