So I stoped talking to my parents if I can avoid it. I am going through that idea of geting my emotional independence, so if one day I do decide to put an end to this whole thing then they will be used to not having me around.
I am in a period of time when I am all alone again. My friends left the country (mine is one of those countries you always want to leave) and they are organizing their own lives. Good for them.
I was thinking that maybe this is how life is supposed to be : you grow up and learn you can’t have all you wanted, that humans are lonely beings and that rutine and monotony are just a part of living. So you live with this little ackward feeling that disguises itself to pretend to be a void in your chest, but that is actually made of all your disappointments shouting at the same time.
I have this feeling, like there is this one part of my head I just can’t reach. Maybe there is where my sanity lies.
I am sad today, not depressed, just really sad. I wish someday I can just sit with someone and talk and breath. Not worrying about the moment he or she has to leave, and not knowing they actually want to be somewhere else. I just want to spend a moment with someone that may really want to be with me.