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Not what I wanted….

by thanaturge

The other day I went for a haircut.  I asked for a pixie.  I told the stylist I wanted it longer in the back, with lots of layers.  She gave me what looks like a boy’s haircut.  It’s not feminine at all.  I’m so dadgummed miserable with it!   I hate it!  This is to be my last haircut, as I will soon be making my exit.  I had wanted my hair to look nice for that, as weird as it sounds.  I was going to color it as well.  (It’s mostly grey.)  I’ve had many haircuts in my life where the stylist ignored my wishes.  It just strikes me as ironic that this one last time, it had to be this way.  Why can’t people do what we ask them to do, when it’s their job?   After it was done, I told her I’d wanted it longer.  She told me, “Everyone has their own idea of what a pixie looks like.”    Why didn’t we have that conversation before?

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15 comments

PhantomCitizen43 2/20/2016 - 1:02 pm

If I was planning on exiting. I dont think what my hair looks like would matter to me one bit.

Kaylee_Dee 2/20/2016 - 1:04 pm

It would me. I’m a bit vain. I don’t hardly wear makeup by my hair…yeah, it means a lot to me. Just like when I go out, I’ll be wearing nice knicker and be fresh shaven. Just the idea of be found in tatty knickers gives me chills.

Kaylee_Dee 2/20/2016 - 1:02 pm

I can’t believe she said such rot to you. WTF I am sorry. I keep my hair at a constant pixie and I have had a few botched cuts in my time. Once, I looked like a pageboy or a squire. I mean really!

And for such a special thing to for her to botch up. Has is.

thanaturge 2/20/2016 - 1:26 pm

Thanks Kaylee. I couldn’t believe it either. Is your pixie close-cropped or feminine?

hiohneh 2/20/2016 - 1:03 pm

Agh, my apologies. I think that’s one reason why I’ve always been afraid of someone doing my hair but in the end I just mess it up myself. I cut my hair into a pixie cut last July and am currently growing it out.

I find that earrings, pretty headbands/headscarves, and make-up can distract from a haircut. Don’t worry, you can work it!

She should have showed you what her idea of a pixie cut looked like before she started working. She also could’ve showed you some pictures and let you choose which one you liked best. Unfortunately, I think some people think just because they are a “professional” they know everything.

thanaturge 2/20/2016 - 1:13 pm

thanks, hiohneh. I totally agree that she should have shown me some pictures beforehand. Is your pixie super-short or does it have some wispy softness to it? That was what i wanted. When I googled pixies, 9 out of 10 of them were feathery, not close-cropped like mine. I feel positive disfigured. I mean, it’s technically done well, just much too short. Women’s self-image is so wrapped up with hair.

hiohneh 2/20/2016 - 1:36 pm

When I cut my hair I cut it super short. Not very feminine at all because at the time I was just angry and tired of my hair and wanted it all off. I immediately regretted it afterwards but on the positive side my hair was really damaged and I was able to have a “fresh start.”

In about 2-3 months it became more feminine looking. Right now it’s a bit past my ears like a very short bob.

I completely understand about your last sentence. I’m sure you look great though! 🙂

I’ve pretty much tortured my hair over the years in hopes of “perfecting it” (I’ve never been happy with my hair.) After cutting it all off I realized I just need to let it be and accept it for what it is because it’s only a small part of me.

thanaturge 2/20/2016 - 1:29 pm

What really gets me is how many times, over my long life, things have just been forced upon me. And something as intimate as hair, for that to be botched by a stranger. Ironically, I traveled 50+ miles to a ritzier locale than where I live, for the reason I figured I’d get a better cut there. Now I see I should have gone to my usual place, where they know me, and wouldn’t have done something so drastic.

rocketman 2/20/2016 - 3:08 pm

thanaturge,

Shit i hate it when that happens! hey don’t rush things, when you go out it is to be with a clear mind nothing bitter! toughs will be your last thoughts, very important.

thanaturge 2/20/2016 - 3:24 pm

Rocky, point well taken. I’m a-working on it!

muspelhem 2/20/2016 - 3:51 pm

Bad haircuts suck. But you know what sucks more? Basing too much of your worth on your haircut. It’s just a haircut, the length of your hair. People in the ’80s (and ’90s) (and ’00s) (and ’10s)… anyway… had terrible haircuts. But they also had other things to offer (terrible music in the ’80s case).

You have to believe you’re worth more in yourself than your haircut.

Hmm. Maybe I’m totally condescending you.

Anyway, my trick is to never go to the same hairdresser two times in a row. Because they slack off when you become a regular.

One benefit is it makes you less fearful of bad haircuts, because you’re essentially playing Russian roulette every time. The other benefit is you get to see all sorts of cool salons. My favourite so far is a narrow room with mirrors on facing walls, creating endless reflections. And from the back room comes the sound of pet birds. The hairdresser himself is an elderly Middle-Eastern guy.

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/20/2016 - 3:54 pm

I was thinking you could postpone killing yourself for the right haircut. That could take years.

thanaturge 2/20/2016 - 3:56 pm

ah, muspelhem, I love your description of your favorite salon! yes, I’m trying to follow the advice of hiohneh (“just let it be and accept it because it’s only a small part of me”) and yourself. It’s just that it makes me feel ugly, and with my lousy health, I’m not looking good anyway. And I’d had long hair for many years.

muspelhem 2/20/2016 - 4:15 pm

I can completely relate, and I’m a guy, so mine grows out in no time anyway. So I shouldn’t be whining. But I’ll say this: you’re probably MUCH more self-conscious about it and many people won’t even notice. I mean, the hairdresser deliberately did it like that. Think of all the people you meet with weird haircuts they got on purpose. Do you judge them?

Anyway, you have every right to be frustrated about it, sorry, And glad you liked the description 🙂

Take care, and please live and be happy (I know it’s easy for me to say)

whiskered-fish 2/20/2016 - 11:32 pm

I don’t have much to say, only that that’s awful.

I’ve been wondering about you, thanaturge. Haven’t spoken to you in a while. I’m sorry that you’ll be exiting so soon.

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