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I don’t understand how someone with so much love in their heart can kill someone so young. I don’t get it.

But I have a question for all of you:

If you have had a family member or a friend or lover that was a murderer, do you still love them, or hate them for the crime they have committed? Or do you hate the crime they committed and still love them? I would like to know. I know it is personal, but I am at a loss for words at what has happened and need to know I am not the only one who feels the same, because I still love this guy, he’s my best friend, I just hate what they have done, and am sad that they’ll probably be put to death and die alone in a cold chair by injection, or suffer in a cell. I know that it is best that they get the sentence they get (I don’t know what they’ll be given yet) but I am sad for the family he destroyed and the fact that he destroyed my heart and his other friends by doing this.

So I ask if any of you have gone through this? I

have no idea how to deal with this.


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Cordless 2/15/2016 - 7:20 am

Hypothetically, I would try to have compassion for the individual, while hating the person’s actions.

In real life, I realize things aren’t so simple.
A lot depends on whether or not the victim was a friend of yours, and whether or not the murder was self-defense or motivated by violent personality issues. It would depend also on whether the person was genuinely sorry for what happened, and whether he had previously killed others. I think it would also probably depend on how the killing took place, and whether it was an accident. The more violent and purposeful the circumstances, the harder it would be for me to forgive the person.

I’ve never experienced it personally.
It’s hard to tell what I would do if it actually happened.

Luci 2/15/2016 - 7:40 am

Alrighty, I will give you a situation with a story.
What if your best friend was in the Army, and he went out and killed a 16 year old boy because the boy stole drugs from said friend? And before this, your friend was the kindest, sweetest, and gentlest person you knew? This friend kills this boy by shooting him in the back of the neck with an AR 15 and then laughed about it when he was confronted. He was not alone though; a sergeant was with him. Before all of this, the friend was a sweet person. He never did drugs before.
Would you still love him and care about him even though he did this?

Cordless 2/15/2016 - 7:43 am

Honestly, it would bother me if he laughed about it.

Luci 2/15/2016 - 7:51 am

It bothers me a lot that he did. I think it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life, because he used to not be like that… And he bragged about it too.

vedura 2/15/2016 - 8:45 am

Was your friend in combat? Even if not, if he was in the Army, he was trained to kill. That does horrible things to a sensitive person’s mind. It sounds like your friend is not the same person he was when you were close.
Your feelings are divided. You love the person he was. You do not love what he did or how he is now.
I would say have compassion for your friend without supporting what he did. It sounds like the army experience severely changed him.
You sound like a compassionate person and that is beautiful. It’s okay to care about your friend, hate what he did. In the long run, however, be the best person that you can be, and it sounds like you are headed in that direction.
This life and it’s circumstances can be very difficult. That you question, have difficulty with this, is a sign that you are a compassion and feeling person. Please do not give up who YOU are.

Luci 2/15/2016 - 10:37 am

He wasn’t in combat. He killed a boy here in the states, in El Paso, Texas. He got hooked on drugs, I guess, and thought that they were more important than a boy’s life. I think the people he was around in the Army changed him, my friend would not have done this if he had stayed here.

Suicidal Angel 2/15/2016 - 9:13 am

Absolutely yes I would still love them.
If you ever have the chance in life to meet and be with your the other half of your soul and feel this amazing incredible beyond words type of love then you would understand, because real true unconditional soul love will love no matter what. I haven’t been in your situation where I’ve been with someone that has killed,
but I was with my twin soul they are called who did some bad things and my love for him just got stronger. Listen to both your heart and soul.
It knows how you feel and trust this. Its a hard road to take to stick by someone like this but that’s what love is, it never ever gives up, and it never stops loving. My heart and soul is still fully connected to mine and yours will be too ( if he is your twin) even if you never see him again, the love never dies. This is how you know its real.
If you want to know and understand twin soul love, google it and read peoples stories of tragedy and loss and a love that overcome all obstacles, as unfortunately twin soul relationships are the hardest relationships to have, with the hardest lessons to learn because it is an extreme test of love and devotion to them, no matter what.
And they are also the ones that will break your heart the hardest because not only will you feel your pain, you will also feel theirs too.

Luci 2/15/2016 - 10:43 am

It’s so strange, because sinceJanuary I have been feeling anxious, for seemingly no reason, as if something bad was going to happen, and then lo and behold, I found out about this and that the boy might have been killed in January, and that my friend was the cause. He was the one that pulled the trigger while his sergeant stood there and watched. It hurts to know that he bragged about it. I want to talk to him one last time, but alas, that probably won’t happen. If they execute him, I might not be able to go. It seems like something you wouldn’t want to see… But if he is sentenced to death, I need to be there, just for closure….
I haven’t heard of this twin love thing though. I’ll need to look it up and do some research because he and I have always been close.

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/15/2016 - 11:53 am

I would still love him. Love doesn’t necessarily go away because of another person’s actions. I would be incredibly sad for him. Drugs do awful things to people, they are an equal opportunity demon.

dyinginny 2/15/2016 - 4:39 pm

I have loved men who have killed before. Very different situation though. You can’t help what your heart feels. I would probably go on loving him.

Death and Psyche 2/16/2016 - 1:05 am

I knew someone who was a very nice person and one day… he decided to kill his best friend and then kill himself. Leaving behind his wife and kids… it’s a wierd thing to care about someone who does something that goes so strongly against what you believe in. I think of him often and the only conclusion I can come to is that he literally had a mental breakdown and when he did he wasn’t his “normal self” and he made a bad decision. It doesn’t excuse or fix what he did but that reasoning is the best I have to explain it. I am sure you know that one incident is not what makes up all he is as a person so naturally you struggle because you have this knowledge and you want in some ways to protect him from the wrath of other people who only know the worst not the best. I hope what I said or sharing my personal experience with this in some way helps you.

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