I use to do a fun random quote of the day for my friends in the morning…here are some of them. Thought you guys might some of them funny.
Well, aren’t we a fun filled lollipop tripled dipped in psycho?
Me Crazy? Don’t make me get down off my unicorn and slap you!
Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, but if I am still not back just read this message again.
Starting tomorrow – whatever life throws at me, I am just going to duck so it hits someone else.
My friend thinks he is so smart, he said onions are the only foods that make you cry. So I threw an apple at his face. Made some pretty good applesauce.
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason why I have trust issues.
Old people at weddings always poke me and say “You’re next” So, I started doing the same things to them at funerals.
When I am really bored, I text random numbers and say “I hide the body now what?!”
I’m not short, I am just more down to earth than some people.
That moment when you talk to yourself and you start laughing like an idiot because you are just so hilarious.
I never make the same mistake twice, I am smarter than that, I make it over and over and over just to be sure. 🙂
A good friend would offer you an umbrella in the rain, a best friend would steals yours and say “Run ***** run!”
Don’t rush into love, because even in fairy-tales, the happy ending takes place on the last page.
I want to be like water. I want to slip through fingers but hold up a ship.
Sometimes the wrong choices brings us to the right places.
Of course size matters, no WANTS a small cup of coffee.
I didn’t lose my mind I sold it online for $50. Pretty good deal if you ask me. I suckered those fools.
I don’t have to worry about being kidnapped at least not for long, they would totally pay to bring me back.
No, I didn’t say you were stupid. I said you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
A friend will calm you down when you are angry, but a best friend will skip beside you with a baseball bat singing, “someone’s gonnnnnnna geeeeet it.”
Everyone is all in love and in a relationship and I am just like BANANA!
People who fall asleep quickly scare me….don’t that have thoughts?
I am going to slap you so fucking hard that even google will not be able to find you.
Some people need a pat on the back….right at the top of the stairs.