The way my life has turned out makes everyday a battle for me. It’s not one of those stories where I have a recognized disability and with effort I am overcoming it while people are proud. Technically I should be a fully functional human being.
I suffer from the most basic aspects of life. I can’t make simple decisions or do simple things. A trip to the grocery store is even something hard, which I avoid and end up screwing it up.
One could wonder how can you screw that up. I get confused and trapped by numbing thoughts and then I resort to negative self defeating trains of thoughts until I take too long to do something, at which point I analyze and mark it as further evidence that I can’t do simple stuff.
Just wish it could end, there is too much to fix and I’m sooo exhausted
3 comments
I’m the same there is nothing physically wrong with me its all mental I no what I feeling like battling with your self I find it hard to go to the shops most days to simple things seem to be so much effort and exhausting
Hi blank-clutter. How is your day going? Have you looked into ADHD or adult ADD? What you describe sounds like an executive function disorder. Meaning just mapping out getting the grocery store, much less actually buying something, is an insurmountable task. FTR just because you don’t have a fever or one leg does not make you NOT ill in some way.
Thanks so much for your understanding Hazy Day. I thought I had ADHD for a while and actually got professionally tested. They conclusion was that I don’t have it, was kind of disappointed because it would have identified my problem.
The assessment did reveal that I had a lot of emotional issues… Wish I did something about it then. I felt fine during that time of my life so with energy of the moment and fear of falling into the pit I am now I just kept on trucking