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suicide

by lissbabe

I don’t think i can do this any more, i feel as if I’m just annoying everyone and that no one needs me any more which is true my father don’t even want to spend time with me any more. His started speaking in French so I don’t understand him when his talking to other family members but i understand what he says. Maybe leaving this wretched world will give everyone peace especially me. I can’t take the pain from being the mistake in the family, i mean i know i am the mistake it’s everyday i get told i am. I didn’t ask to be born and im sure if im dead then this will help my family be more happy. I know suicide will help me find peace and that i’ll be more happy being dead than i am alive, nothing could be more worse then living with the fact im a bastard and that i was never wanted, not even my own mother loves me or even wants to look at me i feel as if im the family servant. My whole family is to disgraced to call me apart of the family that if we have company over that i have to keep my head down and only answer ‘yes mam’ or ‘yes sir’, i even have to hide upstairs in my room so that the visitors don’t see me.

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Moneypenny 2/9/2016 - 1:10 pm

You don’t have anything to be ashame of. Truth is the figure of the bastard was invented to protect the richness of the royalty in a time the world was so fucked up you won’t even belive it. It’s hypocritical.
You don’t have to walk with your head down because you have done nothing wrong. And the more you bend to others the more others will take advantage of you, that’s how nature works.
Start just trying to know it. You are not a shame.
You deserve to walk with your head up and not to hide from anyone.
You don’t have to play along that silly game. They are lying to themselves beliving there is something wrong with the situation you were born at, and that’s like hating a kid for being born in June and not in August… or something as unworthy of real attention like that.
I don’t know why your father is behaving that way, and I don’t know if you ‘ve already tried talking to him, but you must let him know how much he is hurting you by behaving the way he is. You deserve to be treated well, don’t doubt it for a second.

jaynecobb 2/9/2016 - 6:26 pm

lissbabe, I’m really sorry that you’re going through that. It sounds really difficult.

You’re not a mistake. You sound like a fighter who’s had to deal with a lot of unfair bullshit. Keep fighting.

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