Why does everyone always leave?

I never really had a problem with people abandoning me because of what had happened to me a couple years ago. I was 10 years old when my best friend passed away due to an asthma attack. I was so devastated and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to go on with my life now that my only friend had gone.

I never wanted to get out of bed and i especially struggled when it came time for me to go to school. I lost so much weight and by the age of 11, i started cutting. I didn’t know how else to relieve my pain. I was sure that it would only be a one tome thing but then…the shit got addicting. I spent 3 years cutting and never told a single soul. No one ever found out about it. I remember coming home from school and looking forward to self harm (i know that it sounds sick and twisted).

One day i found a kid who understood me i knew exactly what i was going through. He was just as depressed and upset with his life as i was. We became good friends and enjoyed each others company. We then dated for a while. He was the only reason i why i kept living. Then everything came crumbling down. I found out that he hadn’t been to school in a really long time. I haven’t heard from him for a long period of time…..then i found out what had happened. He committed suicide. He slit his throat. He left me.

That was about a year ago. I became severely depressed and try to commit suicide 3 times in the pass 7 months. I ended up in the hospital about 7 times. Im now in therapy and it isn’t doing shit for me. I’m completely broken and torn apart. I’m afraid to ever love again…

…wow this sounded like a cliche story o.o