Wind and Panic

Today it is very windy.

Strong winds give me panic attacks, and here’s why:

About 15 years ago a windstorm destroyed my home in the middle of the night. It ripped off the roof while I was in bed sleeping.  I heard this horrible loud ripping sound, and I rolled over in bed, still in sleepy confusion.

Instead of my ceiling above me, I saw stars.

The wind had this constant ROAR, and it just wasn’t stopping.

I couldn’t turn on the lights, because the windstorm had knocked out the power earlier that evening.

So there I was, in total darkness, trapped in a windstorm, in a home with no roof.

I called my parents for help (they lived about 15 miles away).  They came and got me, and I spent the night at their place.

The next morning, we drove out to see what was left of my home.

The roof had been wadded up like a ball of aluminum foil and thrown into a field across the road.  My belongings were scattered everywhere.  I think there might even have been something hanging from the trees.

In my bedroom, a large mirror had been thrown from one part of the room to another.  If I had sat up in bed at the wrong moment in the darkness, it could have sliced my head off.

The official weather report didn’t acknowledge any tornadoes in the area at the time, but the insurance people said it sure looked like tornado damage to them.

The home had to be completely demolished, and I moved to another nearby town, where I still live today.

But my fear of windstorms is still paralyzing.

For awhile there I had to be on a Xanax prescription just to handle the panic when I heard strong winds.

There are times (like today) when I still wish I could pop a Xanax or two.

Instead, I got out of the house and am spending a few hours here at my McHappyPlace, using the free WiFi until the wind advisory is over.

Here’s hoping I’ll still have a home to return to.