My entire life I have suffered with depression. Iv never not known to be depressed. Both of my parents are hard-core alchoholics. They have been my entire life. I never had many friends growing up. I was a very ugly teenager. I had a big nose and severe acne. Now Im left with severe acne scars. I am a hideous human being. I look like a dam ogre. On top of that, I also have a chronic debalitiating disease. That has no cure. It leaves me in chronic pain. There is literally no hope for me. I give up. Im just scared to actually do it though. Any tips on getting the courage to finally do it? What would be the best method? I was thinking of doing that exit bag. I was also considering OD’ing on vicodin. I have an RX for it. But I heard that the success rate of that is very low. I don’t want to get caught trying to kll myself and get put into a dam hospital. I never wanted to resort to suicide. But i am so tired of suffering guys. I suffered enough. I deal with so much pain on a daily basis. Both physically and psychologically. Im just done.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
I feel very sorry for you. Life is cruel sometimes. We aren’t allowed to discuss methods here but I can tell you that ODing on Vicodin will not work. Don’t waste your time or your prescription. I want to die too but the only method I have at my disposal will take about 24 hours to work and I’m scared of getting found and of the suffering involved so I’m still here. I hope you find some peace.
Yeah courage is a funny thing.
I wrote a whole post here on why do we hesitate going through with it.
I think the fear is our in built survival mechanism.
We are born with this fight or flight instinct and fear just bites you in the ass all the time, even if you don’t actually feel scared to go through with it, there’s still something that seems to stop us.
Its such a weird thing being a human being. We are wired to survive even if we don’t want to.
It just kicks in, unfortunately. You can get that out of it with any form of numbing medication or drug/alcohol to get the courage but then you usually end up feeling too blissful to go through with it by then so you don’t. If you take too much of any drug and it fails it makes you feel so sick. Its really horrible coming down from it.
Living with physical pain is the worst pain of all. I’ve got it but I wouldn’t say I’m the worst case scenario. And as for what you call your ugliness, well true beauty is on the inside.
Have you never seen stories on tv of a person that was totally fucked up by fire or some accident that left them looking the worst ever and they still had someone by their side loving them. Seriously if someone was to judge you by how you look and not love you for how you look then it would never be true love and you wouldn’t want to be with someone as fake as that.
Anyway I can’t help you with giving you the courage as I’m still not able to make that final step either and it sucks when you’ve had a reasonably ok day and it sort of influences your decision, but I know I’ll have another day like yours any day now so what can I say???
Man, I’m so sorry for how you feel and state of affairs. Our minds can treat us truly awful when we feel we already have it bad enough. I fully understand and sympathize with coming to a point of just having suffered enough. I mean, I guess that’s why I’m here. But somehow, by reading posts like yours and others here, it keeps me going. I hope you can find some value in that and just to know, that whatever your station in life, you have value