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you think it’s easy?…

by Girl_dying

You think it’s easy?

I would love to see you put yourself in my shoes, to feel my pain, my insecurities…my loneliness

You can’t say ” get over it..its easy” or ” you’re overreacting “

Please..having depression or any mental illness isn’t easy or fun…If I could get over it i would!

You think it’s easy not being able to speak for myself without panicking? or being happy then suddenly feel down?..or so down you consider taking your own life?…

you think it’s so easy? Be me for one day..just one and see if you don’t change the way you act towards me…

Have fun trying to keep a mask on 24/7 convincing everyone you’re fine.

Have fun not being able to sleep at night as worries and insecurities swim around your head.

You think it’s easy? Please be me so finally…I’m not me…even for one day…

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5 comments

sportsnut 2/26/2016 - 7:47 pm

thank you for sharing.. i hate putting on a mask too

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/26/2016 - 10:54 pm

Hey girl_dying. I wanted to let you know I read your post. The average schlub out there is woefully unequipped to deal with the kind of buy in that acknowledging your mental illness would take. It is far easier to blow off how you feel or make light of the situation. I don’t even bother sharing I have a mental illness with people I meet IRL It is just a recipe for disaster. I’d rather not be the resident crazy anymore. I think of my self as an undercover crazy. Out there doing research on all the mood typical people out there.

I have found most people will avoid before they reach out. The people here understand though, which is nice. I can be my crazy self and I’m not judged and not expected to act crazy all the time, since I’m not the craziest person in the room Well maybe…especially when I am obsessing about purchasing a gun on some nights, but not all, which is a comforting thought.

Girl_dying 2/28/2016 - 7:50 pm

You are completely right, and I understand what you are saying. If you need to talk, I’m here 🙂

Cordless 2/26/2016 - 10:59 pm

People here are generally pretty good about understanding the bumps in the road (and the potholes and sinkholes).

People out there in everyday life… not so much.
Like Hazy said, people out there would rather avoid it than have to reach out and deal with it.

iamtheblues 3/6/2016 - 9:08 pm

Damn! Dying Girl, you’re me! Yeah. I know that dark place in which you speak. I’ve been there for 50 years. It’s the deepest, darkest, dankest oubliette ever made, and there’s no escape! But IF you can endure… then you can survive. I am living proof of that; half a century and counting! I take great comfort in knowing there are more days behind me than in front of me. When will the end come? Tonight? Tomorrow? 20 years from now? 30? Who knows. But it will come. And then, ah, the sweet peace of oblivion! No heaven, no hell, no pleasure, no pain. Nothingness. Not even this website.

People who haven’t experienced it, have no clue. As Robert Johnson said: The blues is a low-down shakin’ chill; if you aint never had ‘em, I hope you never will.

We, on the other hand, have no choice. We got ‘um, baby. All we can do is try to make the best of a bad situation.

Your new friend,
Jack

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