Anxiety Blockages or Best In The World (I hope)

I should be redesigning my website so i can get an entry level job in the field. I should be redesignimg and adding to the couple of clients’ site I’ve had. Im procrastinating out of fear. Well that and food anxiety im juice fasting today save for the banana i had while writing this post. I dont want to screw it up. Stupid i know logically something is better than nothing. I have a voice that tells me I can’t do it. Sometimes i can ignore that voice other times i can’t. There’s another voice telling me that I should kill myself. Honestly the only reason that voice loses is lack of method. I’m still living with some regrets of my past i feel i waited too long to lose weight. There are people who I’ll never talk to again and i go back and forth as to whether or not thats a good thing or sad failure or a combination of both. Idk i wish i could knee someone in the face though.