I’ve just read iamtheblues’ post about coping with the loss of a dearly loved pet terrier. In one one the responses to another SP’ers comment, the oft used expression “Time heals all wounds” was mentioned.
You’re quite correct, iamtheblues, in saying that this awful platitude is a load of bull’s poo. It’s used when people don’t know what else to say when faced with a bereaved person. Some people should just stay silent!
What I’ve experienced myself (so I’m in no way implying this applies to everyone) is that time eventually makes the sense of loss less all-consuming and raw. Every now and then though something brings it all rushing back. Kinda like when you forget you have a bruise and for whatever reason it gets knocked. The pain’s back and relived again. A blow upon a bruise.
If anything, what time does is change the immediacy of pain into a dull ache and that ache never goes away. I deal with it by over eating. Others use alcohol, drugs, cutting or whatever. We’re all damaged in some way.
One more thing, iamtheblues, think about the volunteering suggestion. I do some weekend work at a charity-run cat shelter. When people say “How can you do that, it must be so upsetting”, etc etc, my response is that if everyone took that attitude all those beautiful animals would be left to fend for themselves. All my cats have come from there. I won’t lie and say some of the cases that we get wouldn’t break your heart, but we give them the opportunity to get better and find a new home. Yes, I get very angry with the people who hurt them, but I’d rather be angry and try to do something about it by helping to look after them and raise funds.
Oh well….time to get off the train and go to work in an overheated office. I’m such a slow typer – that’s just over an hour I’ve working on this post. Bye for now!