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Build up and explode

by Drowning

you know when you already know that your life is going to end prematurely not sure when but you know deep down it will happen sooner or later because life isn’t for you and you have no plans for life either and your drifting though each day and it’s getting harder and harder to bare and you sit there thinking why didn’t my first attempts work and since then your trying to find a more successful method but it’s hard to choose which way you would like to go out  hoping u find the courage to go though with it

when I was a teen I heard a saying -dying must be easy because life is hard

and it stuck with me but dying isn’t easy either

I envy the people who die from accidents like take an extra headache tablet and pass away in their sleep and you try on purpose and live wake up in hospital pale as fuck on a drip and confused then get sent home and have to act like it never happened

sorry for the rant thanks for reading

drowning

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8 comments

TRLT no more waiting 3/31/2016 - 9:37 am

Hey drowning you got my hand to pull you out the water come with me, maybe we’ll find what plans we want for life

Drowning 3/31/2016 - 10:21 am

U can have my email if u want to talk

TRLT no more waiting 3/31/2016 - 9:46 pm

Yea I’d like that, how can I tell if someone replies to my comment? I had to track this post back down

Drowning 3/31/2016 - 9:47 am

Hay how’s it going my friend

PhantomCitizen43 3/31/2016 - 11:05 am

Yeah I know where you are coming from. I certainly do. I have had like 6 attempts and they were all serious attempts. I cant believe what I put myself through and still lived. Doctors cant believe it either. I figure I should be dead by now. But I am still living. My life is slowly getting better.. but as you say its hard to go on knowing that cutting my life short is pretty much inevitable. I am 43 and just don’t see myself living way up into my 60’s or later. So well as you say its a rough situation to be in. That life is Hard > but dying seems to be hard also. WTF. On of them t least should be easy. Im trying to make plans for my life and go on… but well I get the urge to end it once in a while. its hard. Good luck

Drowning 3/31/2016 - 11:31 am

Thank phantom for understanding it would be cool if we could talk via email sometime u always comment on my post would like to hear your story my friend

PhantomCitizen43 3/31/2016 - 3:56 pm

Yeah it would be cool to chat sometime. My email address is my SP username @yahoo.com

4beyondhelp 3/31/2016 - 9:12 pm

yeah, I feel like that. before I really started making plans and attempted I had this sort of idea that the human body was kind of fragile and if you did something well enough you were pretty much guaranteed death. I wish it were true, at least for me.

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