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Distracting

by JiminyCrispies

I’m sick of being alone. I have no one who I can trust. No one understands what’s going happening. They don’t understand the Angels. They don’t understand that they need me. I need to see my doctor. I need him to tell me what to do. I’m alone and I’m scared.
I don’t even know why I’m writing on here. I suppose it’s to distract myself. Maybe. I’ve been left alone downstairs. The figures keep moving in the doorway, and it’s annoying me. I’m was trying to distract myself with a film – but they’re distracting me from the film.

I can feel myself starting to slip into the chunk of time where I write. Sometimes I can kind of tell when I’m going to do it, but most of the time I can’t. I hate it when it happens. It happens for hours on end, and afterward I don’t remember any of it. I’m just left with a jumbled mess in my notebook. The one I can’t show anyone. Or maybe I’ll show it to my doctor. I don’t know.

I feel like I’m rambling now. I don’t want to slip into that ‘writing state’. I’m trying to avoid it. But I can’t avoid the inevitable when it’s beginning already.

My thoughts are racing and I can’t keep up typing as I’m thinking of what to say. I’m already two sentences ahead. It’s awful yet satisfying at the same time. I’m usually awful at writing for a long period of time.

This post has jumped from topic to topic so much, and I can’t help but relate it to my thinkings right now. It’s hard to stay on topic for any length of time. That’s how I am right now. It’s helping to a certain degree with distracting myself, but it won’t be enough soon.

My head is hurting from the thoughts and the voices and it’s incredibly loud. I want to sleep so I don’t get it all, but I’m too awake. I’m too awake and too sleep deprived to sleep. Va a ser una divertida noche.

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4 comments

Drowning 3/12/2016 - 6:22 pm

How’s it going Jimmy u having a hard time my friend

JiminyCrispies 3/12/2016 - 6:47 pm

Hey, Drowning. Not really any worse than usual. Just the struggle of distracting myself on top of it. I’m still managing to avoid the whole writing thing at the moment.

Drowning 3/12/2016 - 7:29 pm

U managing to go to school and that explain to me what u see and hear please so I can try under stand

JiminyCrispies 3/12/2016 - 7:57 pm

I’ve been off college half the time, and coming home early the other half.

I see shadow people and figures, and the demons come into my room at night. These don’t both me as much as they used to. A lot of the time I see worms and bugs in people’s hair/ on them, but I try and ignore it so I don’t pull chunks of hair off people. Sometimes it’s little things like walls moving, paper breathing, ‘inanimate objects’ moving, photos moving, ect. And I hear voices and Angels. These are what bothers me the most since it’s constant.

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