I haven’t really believed in anything for a number of years now. I’ve heard people say that faith is the antidote to fear. One or two friends have suggested that maybe if I had some spirituality in my life, I wouldn’t feel so hopeless and afraid of life all the time. But faith has been kind of anathema to me. Belief in something just seems to set me up for bitter disappointment when I realize it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
I certainly don’t believe in myself, at least not when I’m in society. Some people can believe in the goodness of humanity, which I don’t understand at all given how much war and hate and oppression happens in the world every day. And then of course there are those who believe in a transcendent reality, i.e. God. That’s not me either. I don’t know if it’s the dogma that turns me off, or the rituals that often seem pointless, or just the fact that I tend to overanalyze and question everything. For instance there is the whole question of how a benevolent all-powerful God can allow natural disasters and epidemic diseases to happen. And so on.
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I kinda think that sone or most people with a faith in some god or other want to believe in something more than reality, more than themselves, maybe those people just can’t accept the world the way it is (fucked up by fucked up people) and im the same thinking and over analysing things and also i think we humans need some degree of fear a lack of it can cause grave consequences like complacency and selfishness. So yeah, that.
I hear you dividebyzero. I wish I could believe, I really do. When I was little I had a horrible childhood and I believed in God “the Father” with all my little heart. My faith gave me strength and helped me to survive. If only life were so simple again and I could find that faith again. Life has beaten the faith out of me.
Yes i deff reckon faith can really help people
Hey Undefined…
I’ve lost my faith. I’m not sure I had it to begin with. I’ve lost faith in humanity and I question all the people who go around preaching the bible, but don’t live up to it. I lost my faith in God. I used to believe He exists, but now I don’t. I think God is a being created by mankind to help them cope with life in a way. Just as I cut myself to cope. If there is a God, why is there so much suffering in the world?
But the cherry on top was the God-fearing Christian family who were my neighbours, who preached the bible every Sunday but still plotted to kill my brother and had the nerve to bully me most of my life. They killed him on a Saturday and that Sunday they were at church praising the Lord. And God seems to answer all their prayers.
I don’t believe in any god. The ritualistic things I do, I do because of my family. Out of respect for the elders. But I don’t believe in any of it.
I question even my own existance. I question why I was brought onto this world. What is my purpose really? What is life all about?
I think we’re all brought into this world without meaning or purpose so you have to just make your own reasons
I get that Mr Angry. That’s the problem for me. I don’t want to live anymore. But my family appreciates life. So, I’m stuck here to keep them happy. The meaning of my life is to make other people happy. All I do is for them. Nothing is for me anymore. What I want for myself is death, nothing else.
I wish I had been given a purpose which after I’d completed I just die. I would have tried by all means to fulfill that purpose quickly.
Life just sucks!!
Yes life sucks no denying that. But maybe dying IS your purpose, but maybe its not to die now or too soon I mean I dont wanna leave and hurt my mom and brother but I will if I choose to and Ill try and help them through it with my letter. But you dont have to see your family as your reason to stay you must not let that hold you, it will bind you in chains and drag you down to sorrow and despair you must fight that, you dont have to want to live you just need to not want to die right now. Let yourself free from those chains embrace yourself and love yourself just for wanting to die but not ripping yourself away from us who want you here youust fight for yourself and the others that love you!
Mr Angry…. You are right. I do feel like I’m in chains. I’m stuck and trapped because I’m not alive for me, but for my family. Death is what I want. Death is what I desire. But not yet, because of them.
But then again, I can’t be too selfish and think only for myself. They are a great and most important part of my life. My dying will affect them dearly. They are always in the fore front of my head whenever I’m holding a knife to my throat.
Same here, I cant think of dying without thinking of my family and how it will hurt them (but slightly more fortunately ive mainly just my mum, brother and my pop but I think if I word the letter right they might make it through without too mich damage… i hope…
Unfortunately, I have a huge responsibility that I have to live up to for my family. I need to get them out of the horrible neighbourhood we live in. Having suicidal thoughts all the time and even attempting at times is very selfish of me. I can’t die for the next decade or so because of that. I’m stuck here whether I like it or not, unless something else kills me of course.