One step back is ok, don’t worry, good thing is battle continues and you are still getting to know your enemy. Rest, regain energy. Are you eating ok?
remember this feeling, remember what happened today and what happened yesterday.
And be ok being who you are.
Don’t push yourself, don’t judge.
You are here, you are strong.
You come first, you are important and things can be ok no matter if a cut came into your way today. It is just something that happened, it’s not part of you…
What you thinking of?
MP, I’ll try to be strong. I don’t know how long I can keep up this pretence. I’m not okay. I’m breaking and I need help. Therapy hasn’t started. I’m optimistic that it will help me deal with this. I’m trying to be as positive as I can manage, but it’s really hard. I have support from family and friends, but I doubt they’d ever understand what I’m going through. The emotional torture, the insomnia even with medication, the nifhtmares and flashbacks that won’t go away… I really can’t take this anymore. I’ve reach the end. This is all I’m willing to endure. Not anymor. I can’t do this anymore.
Ylem congrats for thinking about going to therapy, I reconize you the big step you are making at accepting going. But remember first therapist may not be the one for you (as it may do be), there are many approaches to psychology and you will have to search until you find the one that may provide you what you need.
beautiful girl, you don’t have to be strong, just be here ok? You are wiser than you know now… But things can be better, don’t close your eyes to that option, it’s just a long way to go. So don’t be strong, just be here, and keep searching because help is everywhere and no where at the same time… first step first: be kind with yourself
Not stupid.
Be careful, please.
Cutting is soothing as it is painful and it works for a very little while and so it’s dangerous and addictive.
We need to respect people’s struggles, and words hurt a lot.
I know you ment well, just be careful, ok?
Pantomcitizen43, I have no other way to release the pain. It helps me. It calms down down rhe urge to end my life and it helps me cope with my emotional pain. Physical pain is way better than emotional pain. I find your words very offensive and judgemental. I’m very suicidal tonight. Just stood on the ledge of a 9 story building and thinking I could just end it. My family is the only thing that is keeping me here. As long as I have to be here, i have to find a way to deal with the emptiness and nothingness that I feel. Cutting is the only thing that helps.
No, cutting is not the only thing that helps, you have to keep on searching for other answers. Don’t let that become your reality because it is a lie. Cuting is not helping, it is just making you feel worst. Believe it, it is not even an option anymore, you know it.
It only feels right for a second…
Is it worth it? You may be tempted to say yes, but don’t answer me. Think about it twice, trice…
Get to know your feelings for it…
Free yourself of that idea first
MP, Talking things out helps. But no one ever understands me. No one understands the pain I’m going through. No one empathizes with me. They just tell me I magnify my symptoms and make it seem worse than it really is. They have no idea what I’m dealing with. I exercise, but it also helps for a while. I take walks and do othewr things to forget. Then I have a bad case of insomnia. It’s not responding to medication anymore. When I can’t sleep, the only thing that comes to mind is cutting to rid myself of the pain.
Ylem thank you for trusting me. It really means a lot to me. And it helps me to read your answers. Sorry things just work for a while, but hey you are doing a lot and I am really impressed.
Stop meds if you can, as some people say here, if they are not working then stoping may be better (I don’t know much about that, but it sound logical)
And yeah people won’t understand because they can’t. As someone was saying today in other post, most people just don’t have it in them to comprenhend what is going on with people suffering from depression and PSTD.
So don’t believe them. I do think people don’t suffer out of the pleasure of suffering (not even masochist ) . There are things you need to heal, And once you heal them you will see the difference. There is not such a thing as to exaggerate or trying to make things look worst than they are. When someone is ok there is no need for that, not for crying nor for feeling bad all the time.
Believe yourself. Don’t let others make you doubt that you need what you need.
Thats the spirit mate, you fight that bastard and when you feel you cant fight you dig deep and you fight some more, proud of you buddy. never stop fighting!
I lost the fight Procel. I couldn’t take it anymore and I made more cuts that I can count. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I can’t take the pain anymore. The emptiness and nothingness is so overwhelming. I can’t cope. Cutting, feeling pain and bleeding is the only thing that makes me feel alive.
Ylem try crying nonstop, you need to cry things out… first cry a little, fake it if you must. Just keep on working on it unroll you can do it, and then cry non-stop
I cry a lot. I really do. Not a day goes by without me weeping. It doesn’t do much. I’ve been crying for months. It makes me feel better for just that moment, then the pain comes crashing eright back as always.
I couldn’t D. I gave into the urge. I’m such an idiot. I’m fucking stupid, I hate myself more than ever now. I can’t do this anymore.
These cuts will be very hard to hide. They are all over my arm. I don’t know what lies I’ll come up with when I get questioned on them, because people will wonder and ask what happened.
You listen to me sunshine cause im only going to say this once… or more likely every time i have to, but still listen cause i hat when people dont listen. you didnt fuck up here, we all slip, no ones perfect, cutting is an addiction and addictions are hard. trust me i know. ive been a self harmer, ive been there, and its so fucking hard to get away from that, but heres the thing, you start cutting again? so what? you can still try and give up tomorrow, thats the great thing about life, theres always another chance. i didnt kick self harming the first time, and to be honest i didnt kick it the tenth time either, those i helped through it didnt kick it first time either. it doesnt make you any less of a person to struggle, it makes you an even stronger person and a awesome person to try again until you get it right. im an alchoholic who swore of drink and right now the keyboards fuzzy because im drinking, and i have to get up at 5 in the morning to go to work. you know how i feel about messing up? im accepting the fact i screwed up and im planning on trying again just as soon as i sober up. your on the edge now buddy but we are here with you, we are your saftey net, we wont let you go buddy, i promise. you didnt loose the fight, you lost the round, theres more rounds to come, and right now your on the chair in the corner, youve got you team around you and we arent letting you quit, the ref may be about to ring the bell but that doesnt matter, your one of us and we got your back, and no ones throwing in the towel for you tonight mate, cause we believe in you
Thank you Procel. Your words mean so mich to me. I feel like such a failure when I think I’m ready to give up and I get straight back into it. I’m really trying to stop, but the pain is just too unbearable and it’s the only thing that helps me cope.
Of course man ( even if your arent a dude i call everyone man, hope no offence) You only fail when you stop trying, and you havent stoped trying yet have you? ergo your not a failure, its as simple as that 🙂 well why dont you tell me about the pain, maybe we can work together and find a way to lessen that pain. and im going to say something that i only said once before. finding a way to cope is a good thing, while the method of copeing itself may be bad, the end result is whats desirable, and, over time, a more suitable method of coping may be found, i dont think cutting is healthy and i urge you to find a healthier way to cope, but until you find such a method there are worse thing to do than cut, especially if it keeps you from the edge
Don’t ever hate yourself for cutting, you need a release from your feelings and it provides that, but you know it’s harmful and you must stop and you will, just try and stay strong in the future. Ok, a set back tonight, there may be more ahead but just keep fighting the urge. You must believe in yourself, you are worthwhile, you are important even if you can’t see it at the moment. Bad things in life can pass and better things can replace them. Try and remember whenever you pick up the knife, people are here for you on SP.
Thank you guys so much. You are the best form of support I’ve ever come across. Thank you for being here with me in my desperate time of need. I have to go for an exam now. I’m optimistic that I’ll ace it. I feel so much better now.
24 comments
How did it worked yesterday?
MP, Yesterday I was able to control the urge and I didn’t cut. Not tonight, I couldn’t. The pain is just too unbearable.
One step back is ok, don’t worry, good thing is battle continues and you are still getting to know your enemy. Rest, regain energy. Are you eating ok?
remember this feeling, remember what happened today and what happened yesterday.
And be ok being who you are.
Don’t push yourself, don’t judge.
You are here, you are strong.
You come first, you are important and things can be ok no matter if a cut came into your way today. It is just something that happened, it’s not part of you…
What you thinking of?
MP, I’ll try to be strong. I don’t know how long I can keep up this pretence. I’m not okay. I’m breaking and I need help. Therapy hasn’t started. I’m optimistic that it will help me deal with this. I’m trying to be as positive as I can manage, but it’s really hard. I have support from family and friends, but I doubt they’d ever understand what I’m going through. The emotional torture, the insomnia even with medication, the nifhtmares and flashbacks that won’t go away… I really can’t take this anymore. I’ve reach the end. This is all I’m willing to endure. Not anymor. I can’t do this anymore.
Ylem congrats for thinking about going to therapy, I reconize you the big step you are making at accepting going. But remember first therapist may not be the one for you (as it may do be), there are many approaches to psychology and you will have to search until you find the one that may provide you what you need.
beautiful girl, you don’t have to be strong, just be here ok? You are wiser than you know now… But things can be better, don’t close your eyes to that option, it’s just a long way to go. So don’t be strong, just be here, and keep searching because help is everywhere and no where at the same time… first step first: be kind with yourself
Cutting is a really stupid thing to do. Try something else for a release.
Not stupid.
Be careful, please.
Cutting is soothing as it is painful and it works for a very little while and so it’s dangerous and addictive.
We need to respect people’s struggles, and words hurt a lot.
I know you ment well, just be careful, ok?
Pantomcitizen43, I have no other way to release the pain. It helps me. It calms down down rhe urge to end my life and it helps me cope with my emotional pain. Physical pain is way better than emotional pain. I find your words very offensive and judgemental. I’m very suicidal tonight. Just stood on the ledge of a 9 story building and thinking I could just end it. My family is the only thing that is keeping me here. As long as I have to be here, i have to find a way to deal with the emptiness and nothingness that I feel. Cutting is the only thing that helps.
No, cutting is not the only thing that helps, you have to keep on searching for other answers. Don’t let that become your reality because it is a lie. Cuting is not helping, it is just making you feel worst. Believe it, it is not even an option anymore, you know it.
It only feels right for a second…
Is it worth it? You may be tempted to say yes, but don’t answer me. Think about it twice, trice…
Get to know your feelings for it…
Free yourself of that idea first
MP, Talking things out helps. But no one ever understands me. No one understands the pain I’m going through. No one empathizes with me. They just tell me I magnify my symptoms and make it seem worse than it really is. They have no idea what I’m dealing with. I exercise, but it also helps for a while. I take walks and do othewr things to forget. Then I have a bad case of insomnia. It’s not responding to medication anymore. When I can’t sleep, the only thing that comes to mind is cutting to rid myself of the pain.
Ylem thank you for trusting me. It really means a lot to me. And it helps me to read your answers. Sorry things just work for a while, but hey you are doing a lot and I am really impressed.
Stop meds if you can, as some people say here, if they are not working then stoping may be better (I don’t know much about that, but it sound logical)
And yeah people won’t understand because they can’t. As someone was saying today in other post, most people just don’t have it in them to comprenhend what is going on with people suffering from depression and PSTD.
So don’t believe them. I do think people don’t suffer out of the pleasure of suffering (not even masochist ) . There are things you need to heal, And once you heal them you will see the difference. There is not such a thing as to exaggerate or trying to make things look worst than they are. When someone is ok there is no need for that, not for crying nor for feeling bad all the time.
Believe yourself. Don’t let others make you doubt that you need what you need.
Thats the spirit mate, you fight that bastard and when you feel you cant fight you dig deep and you fight some more, proud of you buddy. never stop fighting!
I lost the fight Procel. I couldn’t take it anymore and I made more cuts that I can count. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I can’t take the pain anymore. The emptiness and nothingness is so overwhelming. I can’t cope. Cutting, feeling pain and bleeding is the only thing that makes me feel alive.
Ylem try crying nonstop, you need to cry things out… first cry a little, fake it if you must. Just keep on working on it unroll you can do it, and then cry non-stop
I cry a lot. I really do. Not a day goes by without me weeping. It doesn’t do much. I’ve been crying for months. It makes me feel better for just that moment, then the pain comes crashing eright back as always.
U can do it stay strong
I couldn’t D. I gave into the urge. I’m such an idiot. I’m fucking stupid, I hate myself more than ever now. I can’t do this anymore.
These cuts will be very hard to hide. They are all over my arm. I don’t know what lies I’ll come up with when I get questioned on them, because people will wonder and ask what happened.
You listen to me sunshine cause im only going to say this once… or more likely every time i have to, but still listen cause i hat when people dont listen. you didnt fuck up here, we all slip, no ones perfect, cutting is an addiction and addictions are hard. trust me i know. ive been a self harmer, ive been there, and its so fucking hard to get away from that, but heres the thing, you start cutting again? so what? you can still try and give up tomorrow, thats the great thing about life, theres always another chance. i didnt kick self harming the first time, and to be honest i didnt kick it the tenth time either, those i helped through it didnt kick it first time either. it doesnt make you any less of a person to struggle, it makes you an even stronger person and a awesome person to try again until you get it right. im an alchoholic who swore of drink and right now the keyboards fuzzy because im drinking, and i have to get up at 5 in the morning to go to work. you know how i feel about messing up? im accepting the fact i screwed up and im planning on trying again just as soon as i sober up. your on the edge now buddy but we are here with you, we are your saftey net, we wont let you go buddy, i promise. you didnt loose the fight, you lost the round, theres more rounds to come, and right now your on the chair in the corner, youve got you team around you and we arent letting you quit, the ref may be about to ring the bell but that doesnt matter, your one of us and we got your back, and no ones throwing in the towel for you tonight mate, cause we believe in you
Thank you Procel. Your words mean so mich to me. I feel like such a failure when I think I’m ready to give up and I get straight back into it. I’m really trying to stop, but the pain is just too unbearable and it’s the only thing that helps me cope.
Of course man ( even if your arent a dude i call everyone man, hope no offence) You only fail when you stop trying, and you havent stoped trying yet have you? ergo your not a failure, its as simple as that 🙂 well why dont you tell me about the pain, maybe we can work together and find a way to lessen that pain. and im going to say something that i only said once before. finding a way to cope is a good thing, while the method of copeing itself may be bad, the end result is whats desirable, and, over time, a more suitable method of coping may be found, i dont think cutting is healthy and i urge you to find a healthier way to cope, but until you find such a method there are worse thing to do than cut, especially if it keeps you from the edge
Don’t ever hate yourself for cutting, you need a release from your feelings and it provides that, but you know it’s harmful and you must stop and you will, just try and stay strong in the future. Ok, a set back tonight, there may be more ahead but just keep fighting the urge. You must believe in yourself, you are worthwhile, you are important even if you can’t see it at the moment. Bad things in life can pass and better things can replace them. Try and remember whenever you pick up the knife, people are here for you on SP.
Distant Road?
No, not Distant.road, wish he was still here, a very kind and thoughtful member, hope he’s doing ok.
Thank you guys so much. You are the best form of support I’ve ever come across. Thank you for being here with me in my desperate time of need. I have to go for an exam now. I’m optimistic that I’ll ace it. I feel so much better now.