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I know that sometimes life is rough, and you feel that you can’t make it through the night or through the day. Some of us feel it necessary to drink or do drugs just to make it through. But I just want you to know that everyone is special, and that even though life doesn’t seem worth living, it’s best to keep going. There may be a nice surprise around the corner, and it’s just for you. I can’t tell you what it is, I don’t know what lies ahead, I don’t know if it’ll get worse before it gets better. But I know that if you continue to fight, you’ll be able to make it through the night or day, just take a second to breathe, and I promise you’ll be okay <3. Stay safe everyone.

-BloodShallShed

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Randall 3/4/2016 - 4:47 am

Not so long. The most important thing you said is “don’t know’

Cordless 3/4/2016 - 4:57 am

That was my impression as well.

BloodShallShed 3/4/2016 - 9:53 am

Thank you, I know from experience that no one knows what happens, you just kind of have to wait it out and hope.

Cordless 3/4/2016 - 6:59 pm

I didn’t reply fully to this right away because I wanted to make sure of my response before I opened my mouth. I tend to be very careful with my words.

I’m still not quite sure how to say this, but I think it’s important to realize that “cheer up sunshine” advice honestly doesn’t work with people who are suffering from the disease of depression.

You can’t fix it with a bunch of smiley happy platitudes.
Sometimes it can’t even be fixed with heavy medication or intensive therapy.

I realize you want to help, and that’s admirable, but please realize that happy shiny advice probably isn’t going to help. It just doesn’t work that way.
I’m not trying to be snarky or mean, I just need for you to understand this.

I honestly come here to feel a sense of camaraderie, a sense that I’m with others who understand how deep the black hole is. I don’t come here to be cheered up. (Although sometimes I do end up feeling better, but not because someone “told” me to feel better.)

Actually, it kind of bothers me when people presume to give a bunch of “cheer up, sunshine” advice, because the ridiculous positivity seems to suggest that person has no idea what real depression is like. It just isn’t something that can be magically fixed by a quick paragraph of cheerful advice.

Also, be very careful about saying things like “I promise you’ll be okay.”
You can’t promise what another person’s life will be like.
You don’t know what abusive situations they may be enduring, you don’t know what serious diseases they may have. There are at least 2-3 people here with brain tumors, and sadly, the prognosis isn’t good. There are many people here who are abused by husbands/boyfriends/parents. Some can’t escape right now.

If you joined this group because you are a fellow sufferer of depression, then welcome. Please join us in the black hole and realize you’re not alone. It’s better when we feel like we’re all together in this, instead of someone feeling like it’s their “duty” to pull us out.

Again, I swear I’m not trying to be mean or nasty or unpleasant.
I am a nice person. Honest! 🙂
But in my personal experience, “happy cheerful sugar-coated advice” just doesn’t work. If anything it can be irritating rather than helpful.

BloodShallShed 3/5/2016 - 2:30 am

Long put please read
I am aware that cheer up sunshine doesn’t work, and that’s not the reason I joined. I do suffer from derpession, and I am no longer on insurance because they got tired of all my hosptal bills (both actual and mental ones) from freshman to junior year (graduated that year) I tried to kill myself at least 48 times, and was taken to both hospitals, and I was sent to hospitals because of the fact that I had scars or other marks. I gave up therapy, medications, everything, and I have even given up on myself and getting better. I seriously fake things to make my family feel okay. I hide it because I don’t want them to know, and I got fired just this week for having marks. And I get that it doesn’t help you when people act happy or speak happy, but it has seriously helped a lot of people in my life. I’m a victim of physical, verbal, and mental abuse, along with many other things that have happened to me in life that I can’t think about or say on this website. I get some people can’t escape, but telling them that doesn’t help or make them feel better, telling them that they are strong enough to get out of it, or seek help is what helps, or even if you yourself help them. I understand you’re not trying to be mean, but hiding it and being nice is what I do best… I don’t express it, I kept it all hidden for so long that I’ve gotten so used to it that if I speak my mind, I feel no one will listen. I was diagnosed with major depression and ptsd as a freshman, which is not something anyone wants. I seriously can’t look in the mirror, I hate taking pictures, all of the mirrors in my room are blocked, and in my bathroom as well. I do know what depression is like, I just know that a lot of people prefer to be told that they will be okay, rather than trying to help too much. I’ve been in the situation where people just press and press and it makes me angry and I completely shut off. I in fact, like many of us, use music as a way to get away from everything. It does upset me that you think I believe it’s my duty, I help people because no one helped me, and no one still helps me, and I feel like I can help others, and I have for years. Not always is it cheerful ways, but I do help, and I just do it when I know they want it, and a lot of people here want help, I just see it as a safe place to express my feelings when I can get the courage to do that. I do not believe its my duty to pull people out of depression, because I know it isn’t, I just tell them that I know things are tough, and if they need someone to talk to, there are places, and or they can talk to me. I’m good at giving advice thanks to a horrible childhood and teenage years, I’ve experienced a lot of things in my life, and done things that I’m not proud of, and I hate myself beyond belief. I am truly a kid that has depression, if I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t have come to the site, I wasn’t looking to find this at all, I was looking up something completely bad, and I saw this as a way to escape and maybe feel like I’m not so alone, maybe even find and meet a new friend that has probably suffered the same way, or even if they could just talk. I know everyone is different, there are multiple depressions, there are multiple disorders, I suffer from a few, and I have given up as I said care and medication because I just don’t wanna have to have my mum deal with the problems. She hates it when she has to tell her friends what’s wrong with me, even when I tell her they aren’t their business, and all she tells me is that I shouldn’t have them if she can’t talk about them. And she makes me feel like the lesser child, I’m a twin, I can’t leave my house, I barely leave my room because of it, I can’t do anything but sit there and try to come to terms with the fact that I’m stuck in a house with someone that makes me worse, and in a place that I was told I needed to avoid at all costs. I seriously hate life and myself, I joined because I was tired, and I was looking for a way out that night I joined here, and it wasn’t a way to escape and keep from thinking, I was seriously going to leave. I’m sorry if I seemed me, just like you, that was not my intention, I am a very nice person, and I hate when I feel like I’ve been mean. I apologize for the length of the response, I just felt like I had to get things off of my chest, I’ve had a bad month. I’m sorry again. Maybe we can be friends?
-BloodShallShed

Cordless 3/5/2016 - 3:04 am

It’s ok. 🙂
I think we both just needed to vent.

I personally don’t respond well to sugary syrupy positivity, but I do believe in having a good sense of humor and seeing the lighter side if possible.

So maybe we’re just different sides of the same coin, and that’s ok. 🙂

If you do suffer from depression, this is a good place to be. Eventually you can get to a point where you can vent and rage like the rest of us do. It’s actually one of the things I love about this place. We can vary wildly from day to day:
In the course of one week, a person can jump from being in a good mood, to being suicidal, to having hallucinations, to being angry and violent, to just wanting to curl up in the corner and never talk to anyone again.

There are such wild variations we have here, and what I love is that we all meet each other as peers and equals. Instead of “here’s some advice so you quit feeling that way”, we tend to gravitate more to “I understand because I’ve been there myself.”
I love that (usually) the site simply allows people to feel the way they happen to feel, without trying to change them. It’s this camaraderie and mutual respect that I don’t always see in everyday life.

I’d love for you to be a part of that.
And yes, of COURSE we can end up friends. 🙂

BloodShallShed 3/5/2016 - 3:11 am

I don’t always see it in life either. Like, say you go out and you thought you looked cute in a tank top and shorts, or a bikini, if someone sees the scars or damage that you have done to your body, they let everyone in the public know about it, and I think that’s wrong. Like, yes we get it, I do it, I have problems. But do you think showing people is going to make it better? That’s what my mum tried to do and I almost slapped her in the face.

Cordless 3/5/2016 - 3:20 am

Yes… things like that. 😮

People out there just don’t get it (most of the time).

Sometimes things are the way they are, and we’re currently at a place in our lives where we aren’t able to change it right away.

It’s nice to have a place (like this) were we can post about depression or suicide or cutting or other life-struggles, and we know that at least one other person here has gone through that same thing! The circumstances vary but the feeling of connection– that somebody GETS IT… That’s such a huge relief.

BloodShallShed 3/6/2016 - 4:43 am

Yeah, no no one here yells at you for being different either, I get yelled at a lot in my house for not going to church like my sister and her by and everything, when I know they just have sex and stuff right after. My parents actually hate my religion choice lol. And I know that though I choose to be what I am, people on here won’t try and bash me for it, at least not as badly as my family.

Not interested in life 3/6/2016 - 5:00 am

Thanks for the kind words, even though I just want out of life. I hope it helps people, your words. Sorry if i sound weird

BloodShallShed 3/6/2016 - 1:55 pm

You don’t sound weird. I just want out of life too, I just try and help other people while I can.

Drowning 3/8/2016 - 9:16 am

Some nice words I hope thing get better for all of us soon at point break already

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