I woke up completely unhappy and lonely. I tried to take a shower, turned on the water and just collapsed into the corner. I was annoyed at myself afterward for leaving the water running, such a waste of water. I was in the corner for like an hour.
I don’t understand why I have to be this way! I walked into the kitchen afterward… and seen knives and had every desire in the world to end it right then and there. I ran to my bedroom and just got under the covers. I finally got strength from somewhere and started feeling a bit better, but I wasted 5 hours of my day completely a mess. It’s now 3pm and I have things I have to do. I don’t know how long I can continue functioning like this.