I can’t move on…

I was with someone 7 months ago. We had been together for 6 yrs. She has 2 children from a previous marriage. Our relationship was just a big fantasy I now see.

I come from a poor family and what little help my parents imparted to me just wasn’t enough to get me somewhere. I have no skills or anything and my future is bleak.

My ex on the other hand has had everything handed to her in life. She has had money and opportunities. All through our relationship she was living her dream. I see that I was just some kind of visitor in her life. Maybe I was just some whim because she has everything else so I must have just been some poor man that she could use for years and then dump.

I am 41 and my life is now shattered. I have tons of bills and little money. The lifestyle I am living now in a city far away from her is nothing at all like the life I had with her. During our relationship I put total focus on her and as a result put nothing on myself. I am the only one to blame for that.

My self esteem is non existent. My heart just breaks every second of everyday thinking of the dream I wanted so bad with her. Seeing the dream she is living that I will never achieve, rips my heart out.

I never had a chance in this life. If you are born to poor parents and you get no support or help in this country, you are screwed.

Just not sure how people are supposed to be happy walking around everyday and seeing so many other people that have so much more in their lives. It is torture. My socio-economic status growing up and now prevents people like me from having a normal life.

Now I see many years of suffering, loneliness, and pain ahead. Being 41 means you are double screwed. Opportunities are much farther and fewer in between and finding a mate in today’s world at my age? Forget it.

She was the best I was ever going to have and now I need to learn to accept my fate of poverty and desolation.