Ever just think really hard about suicide? Just to the point where you know exactly how you will do it down to ever little detail and imagine how it will play out afterwards. How everyone will react, how your funeral will go? Because I do.
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Come to think of it I haven’t I think about suicide everyday but haven’t got into detail tho come to think Of it I should
I recently thought about it for the first time in years, planned out all the details, wrote a will, tried to tie up as many loose ends as possible. It was such sickening feeling, I became more suicidal if you can believe that.
I have but it was while ago and for some reason i could see were i be buried probably next to my uncle with no name or date on hit tomb because of his untimely death.
But saying that suicide is not an option for me now
Well, suicide came to my mind seriously for the first time 5 years ago. Since then, it is slowly intensifying. I have so far worked out all the details I think, but didn’t pay much attention to what happens afterwards since it doesn’t concern me. Never gotten to writing a will etc., however I want to be incinerated and not sent back home and buried so probably have to figure that out too. Most importantly I have to find the courage to do it, which I think I’ll never find.
Death has an amazing, very assuring feeling to it. For me it is the end. Absolute end and nothingness to everything. Maybe in reality it isn’t, but my logic says it is, so… For once in life, something good is absolutely guaranteed.