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Rather than equivocating death, I have conceded that death has already bestowed its unrequited love upon me. Simply so, because though I still breathe, and whilst my heart still thumps, the mere essence which makes each of us has perished within me.

It is as if though I’m only being kept alive by a  hypothetical respirator and though this hypothetical mechanisations is working tirelessly, what sense is the life that its saving. For that individual can no longer be happy, can no longer assimilate to usual locomotion, all that is left is his bodily mechanisations  and, in actuality life has already left his body.

My body, however is too stubborn, too resilient to let go. Those few kindred beings around me who do care about  me are likewise of the same order, not wanting to let me go.

I have already parted with my soul, my being and essence, my only hindrance is my body. I adamantly and anxiously await its surrender.


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iamtheblues 3/6/2016 - 11:51 am

Eloquently said.
You sound like Poe.
And I have always adored him.

We are all just animated corpses anyway.
Some people even stink like death while still alive.
I guess that’s why we bathe; to wash off the lingering odor of death.
It permeates us all.

I feel your pain.

Counting The Days Until I'm gone 3/6/2016 - 12:07 pm

At least someone gets my sentiment. I’m awaiting my de-animation anxiously

iamtheblues 3/6/2016 - 5:49 pm

I’ve been waiting for 50 years for mine. Let’s wait together, eh?

The Klingon saying, ” TlhIngan Hol” is translated into English as, “Today is a good day to die.” But so is tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. Right? No rush. Death will find us sooner or later. We can’t out run it. True, some days are heavier than others. And I realize that there are more days behind me than in front of me. That idea gives me a sense of peace really.

Yeah, I get you. I really do.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/6/2016 - 5:51 pm

No you did not just use Klingon to make an important point.

iamtheblues 3/6/2016 - 5:54 pm

LMAO. Yeah, I guess I did.
Shit, I’m more fucked up than I thought.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/6/2016 - 5:58 pm

don’t let cordless see you doing that, she speaks fluent.

Cordless 3/6/2016 - 6:03 pm

Hey! I heard that!

iamtheblues 3/6/2016 - 6:04 pm

Oh Damn! I had to google that. LOL.
I’m a Trekkie from way back. Even had the Klingon dictionary when I was a kid. Never learned it fluently though.
Thanks for the head’s-up.

Gary 3/6/2016 - 11:56 am

We think, perceive, see, hear, smell, and are part of this existence that is all around us. The question is that when that switch goes off…then what. Does this all really stop as we wish? We can only hope so. Then we are nothing. Everything is what.

Counting The Days Until I'm gone 3/6/2016 - 12:09 pm

Quite frankly, I like not knowing what’s next. At least its better than suffering for eighteen years now. After so long, whatever comes next is a relief.

Hedabuvh20 3/13/2016 - 1:19 am

I feel very similarly. When I fall asleep, I stop breathing, it’s not like a typical sleep apnea, it’s more like as my brain enters a sleep state my disjointed body shuts down altogether it’s only a stop gap survival measure to gasp that keeps me alive. This happens more during the day, usually at night I’m able to sleep but I have my own problems then too, some insomnia.

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