This last week has been a blur.. I dont know what to think, cant seem to identify how i feel. When i think about leaving i seem to think of my kids less lately. And more about the end of feeling. Telling myself shell find someone to step in and in a few months itll be asif i had never even been here. Mom wont care, shell still be focused on success and work after a few weeks again. Dad wants to kill himself to so whats the difference. Im glad my boys are young they wouldnt remember. But i wonder would i be free? Or would it torment me after death still.
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@drowningforever: Just got to reading this. Sometimes I get in such a shitty headspace that I think my children will be better off farmed out to family members. Then I surface and think, nah, they pretty much need me, not a cousin or uncle, but me. There really is no replacement for a parent, even if that parent doesn’t directly raise their children.
drowningforever, Hello glad to meet you, i only tell the truth, there won’t be any torment after death sounds good right, but you see your not dead! and you know that!
” Im glad my boys are young they wouldnt remember.”
Yes they would! and it will always haunt them!!!
TOO LATE! You can’t go knowing that! they are your responsibility, you feel you have a fucked up life but fucking theirs up isn’t fair, fair as i’m concerned you need to stick around and think of those kids.
i’m here because of cats of all things, what would happen to them without me!
Sorry but this is serious you don’t want to go out knowing that! YOUR LAST THOUGHTS SHOULD BE I DID MY BEST!
Don’t make light of yourself they will miss you! and you will break hearts!
Sorry again but your going down the wrong track.
Damn you have that honesty gun cocked this morning rocketman.
Hazy Day Sunflower, Yeah because i was thinking like him till i woke up, there is more to unfinished business than just making a will.
I agree. Sometimes I need the honesty gun cocked in my face too.
Thank you guys, that helped me shake my head into perspective this morning.
I’m glad to hear that. This place helps me get out of my shittier headspaces sometimes. Others…well lets just say there are nights when I just dive deeper. Glad we could help. Stick around, lots of fun on a Sunday morning around here.
Hi drowningforever, I don’t want to force suggestions but, if you’re up for it, talk to your dad about your depression and suicidal thoughts. Maybe you both need someone to talk to.