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Just need to vent.

by canadiansunset

I feel alone, depressed, unloved, and empty. I can’t get over losing my baby, dropping out of school, and missing the douchebag of the father. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I’m feeling suicidal and I’m scared I’ll try tonight. I just want to talk to somebody.

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GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:02 pm

CanadianSunset, I’ve been following some your story.
I know you’ve had a lover who left you with a baby, you’ve left your home, your parents weren’t appreciative of your lover…
And you lost your baby recent due to a miscarriage.
Pardon me if I’m missing information or am not correct. I haven’t been entirely following.
You seem so lost, so sad.
You need a real friend to talk to.
We here at SP are always a person to talk to, to share with.
But you sound so desperate…
So desperate, that I’d love to just…reach over, and…give you a hand.
A real hand.
Or a shoulder to cry on.
CanadianSunset, I’m here for you. We are all.
Don’t cry. You are safe here.

canadiansunset 3/1/2016 - 11:10 pm

My parents don’t know about him. Like not that much, they don’t know him. I was living in Canada for school (I went to uni there and had to drop out) and I was in love with Canada. That meant I had to move back to South America. And then I found out I had a baby in me and the boy I had feelings for just pushed me away and treated me like trash. I still care for him thou even thou he left us, and doesn’t even know I lost the baby. I feel terrible.

GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:09 pm

I’m so sorry. I’m young. Many of the times I’ve read posts here on SP, there is an older audience. People who have witnessed, experienced things I’ve yet to experience…
And, I can’t do anything. I feel helpless. I skip it all. I have nothing to offer, nothing, because what the hell does a 15 year old know?
Yet, some posts cling to my heart.
They pull and stick on, and they don’t leave.
Not unless I voice something.
CanadianSunset, all I’ve been reading is a tragically desperate calling for a friend; for comfort.
For something to hold on to.
And…It…. renders me helpless.
I want to help you. Badly. Do you hear me? I really need you to know that I am here. I am here. I’m listening. I am here. You’ll get through this…
God I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through..
Every single one of your posts are screaming with pain and of distress. You need a friend.
I’ll be your friend.
We’re all your friends.
I hear you. I hear you…
I am listening…
And we’re all listening.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/1/2016 - 11:13 pm

Well said GT. That brought tears to my eyes.

GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:23 pm

Some people may speak their mind, and it can be viewed as some type of regular distress. But hers…they sounded painful. They ARE painful.
My eyes keep stopping to her posts, and my heart kept hearing to her calls. It was so constant… I needed to voice out to tell her I hear. And, I finally did.

canadiansunset 3/1/2016 - 11:11 pm

I do need a friend…

GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:12 pm

Do you have someone to talk to in real life? You need more than virtual friends, I can hear.
You have to find a shoulder to lean on.
Who do you have?

canadiansunset 3/1/2016 - 11:15 pm

No one. Not even my sister.

GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:24 pm

Is there a friend you have?

canadiansunset 3/1/2016 - 11:27 pm

no…

canadiansunset 3/1/2016 - 11:32 pm

I feel they just ignore me or not really care…

GTSuicide_6 3/1/2016 - 11:50 pm

Do you think online friends will get you out of this hole?
Or, do you think a professional would help…
I know you may be hesitant…but you need help from someone.
And a professional listens to you.
They’ll listen.
They’ll help you heal.

canadiansunset 3/2/2016 - 12:01 am

I’m seeing a psychiatrist but I don’t feel it’s helping.

GTSuicide_6 3/2/2016 - 12:25 am

I think its MORE than wonderful that you are seeing a psychiatrist.
I didn’t want to have to convince you, because it would’ve helped you dramatically.
Good job πŸ™‚
You’re going in the right direction.
Keep pushing.
You are safe CanadianSunset.
You really are.
You don’t believe it today, and you may not believe it tomorrow,
but you’ll be OK.
I'[ll promise you.
That you’ll be Ok.
You really will.
You’ll find your way. I swear to God you will. You’ll be Ok. I promise.
Keep posting if anytime days begin to feel like hell, we’re here.
We’re all here.

Hazy Day Sunflower 3/2/2016 - 12:50 am

@Canadian: When I’m in a really bad state I find that reading everyone else’s posts and commenting on them, even if the comment is “I read this” help me feel more connected to the world. There are some night I just sit here staring at the screen, that is less lately since I have gotten marginally better at self care in the last three months, but truthfully, I find friendships online can be just as satisfying, and maybe more satisfying, than IRL. Where else can I hand out with fun people in my pajamas?

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