It’s Easter Sunday and all I can think is that my life could not possibly be more hopeless. I am 40 yrs old and I have accepted the fact that I will never have a husband, never have children. I haven’t been able to find a job. I’m stressing out about the 2 job interviews I have tomorrow. Everyone else I know is celebrating today with their families and I am laying in bed all alone unable to move. All I want is peace. If I fail to find a job again this week I think I will finally try to end my life. I don’t want to do this any more. I feel such longing. I used to be so religious. I feel like I’m reaching out for a God that I can’t find. Every thing hurts. Thinking hurts. I have no one IRL that I can talk to about this as they are all busy living normal happy lives. I don’t know how I ended up here but I long for it to stop. Thanks for letting me rant. I’m so lonely.
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Please know that just because its a holiday and other people are doing whatever doesnt mean you have to be, or care at all about those others, only if it means something to you should you care about the day, of course if this isnt right or you dont like what ive said please disregard it.
~ someone who cares ~
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.
I take the time to read lots on here and take almost as much time to think about what is good to say, and its what this place is about, you are welcome here 🙂
I’m proud of you. You have at least 2 reasons to have hope referring to the job interviews. I hope you are wrong about not finding anyone. I understand the loneliness as it can feel all consuming. Though it isn’t the same as a real life connection we all understand here.
^ perfect ^
Thanks deadmanliving. I can’t stop crying today. I feel so pathetic for feeling sorry for myself. I usually try to be strong but I can’t any more. Your words and Mr Angry’s words mean a lot to me.
What we’re here for. :B
Keep crying then I’ve learned crying doesn’t do the damage holding it in does.
I haven’t cared about Easter since I was 10 or so. Don’t feel like you should. And regarding the job interviews — yeah, those can be very stressful. I’m looking for jobs myself right now and I hate everything about the process. As stressful as interviews are, though, it’s better than not getting the interview at all, right?
You’re right dividebyzero. I just hope I can pull myself together mentally and emotionally to function tomorrow. Thank you.