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My heart keeps acting up and i wish it would stop.

I hate this fat unlovable unattractive unnecessary pimple filled lonely face. I hate being constantly reminded of my romantic/sexual irrelevance to women. Im tired of working out and eating better just to pig out and ruin it. Im tired of being ugly. The moments that give me peace are the moments where my chest/heart go funny. I know its just the caffeine and bronkaid effecting me. I wish I could just die. I’m tired of being poor irrelevant lonely fat and depressed. Im tired of it it makes me sick. Sick of living sick of everything. No one will ever want me. I try to think otherwise i even succeed at times. I’d give 10 years of my life to be happy for one. I try to stay content and even keel but sometimes it’s just impossible.


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Monster 3/18/2016 - 8:28 am

You can make it through this. Someone somewhere is out there for you. You just have to find them. You can do this, and when you need emotional support, we’re here for you. *Hugs you*

disgusting 3/18/2016 - 8:31 am

You sound a lot like the guy I like. Every time he gets rejected, he goes off like this, about being fat, ugly, poor, undesirable, and everything else. And here I am, completely irrelevant and nonexistent to him romantically, when I’m the one that does love him and thinks he’s the damn hottest, sexiest and most gorgeous man to ever walk this earth! I REALLY don’t understand how with a face that amazingly beautiful he doesn’t get completely mobbed by women every time he sets foot outside?!?

Believe me, I’m sick of being so fat and ugly that no man could ever want me! And I can’t do anything about it. I was once put on a 500 cal diet and made to run for 5 hours a day 5 days a week on a treadmill & elliptical and I didn’t lose a fucking ounce or lose a fucking cm off of anywhere so the rehab dept gave up on me and stopped paying for it. Not shit works. And now that I have fibromyalgia on top of the initial back injury that fucked me up in the first place, I can hardly stand or walk -at all- much less exercise on the level that it must take to get me to lose weight, if 5 continuous hours a day of vigorous exercise 5 days a week can’t do anything! Sometimes I wish I’d just keel over already or die in my sleep! I mean at what I weigh now, why the hell are my blood pressure & full blood panel tests still perfectly normal?

deadmanliving 3/18/2016 - 9:18 am

Yeah I have never had much intrest from women and i know no one in this town i just moved to and will be moving from soon. Im hoping things will be better in Charlotte. As far as weight loss i haven’t given up but i am about to get Krispy Kreme lol. I need to cheer myself up

disgusting 3/18/2016 - 9:48 am

I know the feeling. Sushi cheers me up but I can eat a ton of it. I’m curious as to what you look like. I doubt it could be that bad.

PhantomCitizen43 3/18/2016 - 9:48 am

Yeah I know how you feel to some degree. I am a skinny guy and fairly decent looking guy. But I am a disabled guy. I walk with 2 canes and am limited in my ability to work. So being a disabled guy Its really hard to land a woman and keep her in my life. I occasionally go out on dates but it never works out for the long haul. Its gotten so bad I really don’t even try much anymore. I have just figured I will die a lonely disabled guy and that’s pretty much my fate
I know how you feel. Hang in there.

disgusting 3/18/2016 - 9:50 am

I tell you if a guy was as hunky as the guy I like or the other guy I like (the sort of famous one), walking with two canes or being in a wheelchair wouldn’t keep me from either one of them. I’d still pounce on that like there’s no tomorrow!

sportsnut 3/18/2016 - 9:54 am

haha …thats commitment..i like it

deadmanliving 3/18/2016 - 11:04 am

I’m so sorry to hear that.

Cordless 3/18/2016 - 4:10 pm

I have heart arrhythmias/palpitations sometimes too, and I feel the same way.

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