My name is Costy. And I am shit. Do you know what shit is? It is Costy. Costy just dosen’t understand life.It is a miracle? or just an accident? Whatever it is , it dosen’t have any application in our daily lives…I guess that the major cause for my downfall was nihilism, even if I would have everything in the world..we are going to die anyway. What is there for us? Nothing or maybe “something”. I don’t want to get old..
I have so many fucking toughts in my head. Why do I exist? I just want peace.
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I love nihilists. I’m actually in that hole too. I don’t see a point to life. I’ve also thought long and hard about why we exist. I’ve looked for answers everywhere and my best guess is that our existence is either (1) a cosmic accident or (2) some great creator’s experiment (hell, aliens could’ve been our creators). I don’t know. I’ve been wanting answers and peace since I’ve started college… I don’t believe life is a miracle or a gift. No, to me life is simply an experience. We’re “beings”, maybe it’s like our natural duty or purpose to exist in some time, place, body, and form. I’ve no doubt that after we die we’ll exist again in some other place of being (could be Earth again), but that is unknown.
That was very well said Ryder. Thank you 🙂
No problem. Here’s a site I bookmarked months ago about nihilism, meaninglessness, and existential depression. You might find it interesting or enlightening.
http://www.livereal.com/psychology_arena/whats_the_problem/meaninglessness.htm
I hear you on this, from on nihilist to the next. At first I loved my negative attitude towards the simple life that (amusingly enough) everyone around me tries to complicate. They constantly struggle just to get little tasks accomplished, and I mean it when I say they have hundreds of those tasks. All the while I sit and smoke some weed, and quietly observe the madness that everyone calls “reality”. The reality is, none of that stuff makes any sense any more. All the bills getting paid, the busses transporting millions of people a day to go from A to B. It astonishes me that such effort is placed into things that don’t let you see the world for what it truly is. You can’t conform to such a lifestyle without giving up on your freedom to live a meaningful life. I agree with Ryder, life is an experience. Being born is inherently the best opportunity to go out and see what they world has. The other crazy shit that we as humans have put into place mean nothing, because it’s all artificial. You wanna know what isn’t? This planet. I say let’s go explore the deepest cave, swim in the largest sea, climb the highest building (cause fuck it let’s all be spider man right?) and live the longest life we can. I’m actually saving all my money to buy a plane ticket to Florida. I have no car, no job and I’m not in school. I haven’t had a girlfriend in 4 years so that’s looking like a no go on romantic happiness. But I find happiness in the ocean, in the sandy beaches, in the vacant lots at a late hour. I find it in the rain when it falls against my face, or in the wind when it cools my skin on a hot day. I can feel happiness in everything that is purely natural. The mountains, the sea, the forests and even the rolling hills. I have learned in my years that the world I live in, and the music I play are the only two things I need. People have no idea what they’re saying Costy. They can put you down for however long they want, but remember this always; They cannot possibly strip you of your ability to live the way you want. There are no rules that apply when considering what a person can or cannot do. You only HAVE to do three things in life. You gotta be born, you gotta die, and you gotta take up space. The rest is up to you. Where do I go next? I don’t know man, but that’s the beauty of it. I can go wherever I want. And so can you. Don’t give up on yourself, go and be who you want to be. The world awaits you.
That was inspiring, thank you. I struggle with not feeling “good enough” because I can’t fit in to what society expects of me. I wish I could just let go of all these feelings of obligation.
I like to think that people like you and me and many people on SP are unique. And by unique, I mean that we all go through something I call the crucible. The crucible is the point in our lives where we begin to question normal life and if it’s really “normal” to live the way everyone else does. It’s the point where we can’t see the rest of society as something we want to be a part of. We struggle with our identity and we struggle with knowing where we belong just as a person. In the crucible, we’re forced to put aside so many things we are raised to believe and face reality for what it is. And then we have to decide what to do, and it’s a simple question of “Do you want to be like the rest of them, or do you just want to be you?” I think whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you. Just remember that you do have a choice. And if it helps, I’ve always found it to be much more rewarding when I’m just who I want to be regardless of what the people say. I have more fun lol =D
Somebody in a Facebook group recently asked what we would do if we weren’t afraid. I said I would live a life I dreamed of. Now that I think about it, it’s probably partly true. There are SOME things I still wouldn’t be able to do because of circumstances. But there are a LOT of things I don’t do for fear of judgement. I have to live a somewhat “normal” life as I have kids. They don’t live with me, but I feel I still have to live up to what a parent is expected to be. And I honestly don’t feel I have it in me. So it’s an internal tug-of-war between doing what is “expected” and doing what I’m capable of.
What are some of the things you do that are right for you, and not just what everyone else does?