Thought about it. Three of my little siblings did martial arts for a while; I couldn’t because of my bones. I still don’t know if I could, but who knows.
Well swimming to exhaustion alleviate the tension which contributes to rage. It is easier to manage rage if there is less energy to channel into it. Love the low impact martial arts idea.
Well it’d help you immensely to explain why you are this fountain of rage. Perhaps you’re an introvert who let’s people walk all over you? Or is it something chemical?
There are better, more productive ways of releasing this rage, join a gym workout, become an artist…or simply stand up for yourself when you feel you were being treated unjustly and put people in their place. The last thing you want to do is hurt yourself or others, you’ll only regret it after. Peace.
I mean, I suppose my childhood wasn’t ideal. I was raised in a broken home by a family of abusive, neglectful addicts and drunks for most of it. Then there was the cruel, relentless torture I suffered at the hands of my peers. For my appearance, for my learning disability, for my family. Later, for my sexual orientation and my religion, the latter of which my father disowned me for. The bullying only sort of stopped, never fully. When I was much younger, I used to spend a disturbing amount of time fantasizing about different ways to get revenge on my torturers.
Anyway. More reasons than that of course. I’m just utterly disillusioned with life.
And about that last part: I know I’d regret self-mutilation. But I’m talking about suicide. Real, final, end all. I won’t be alive to regret anything.
Sorry to hear. Sadly it is a vicious world out there. I’ve experienced some bullying, my niece/nephew have, unfortunately it’s pretty much universal. Nowadays we no longer have a choice but to learn self-defense and be proactive in dealing with bullies.
I realize it doesn’t offer you any solutions now for the years of torment that you suffered. Like you I’ve often fantasized about taking revenge on people that have done me wrong in the past-but I’m really just too busy trying to keep my life in order and get to a place that I know will make me happy. It’s a waste of time and it’s draining to think about things you cannot change.
But it’s your mind reminding you of times you were vulnerable and what can occur-so the lesson is to simply learn from those experiences and move on and don’t let them debilitate you know. I’d recommend seeing a therapist as well.
I’m the last person who’s going to blow sunshine up anyone’s azz. I’ve come close to ending my own life as well but I’m still around today because things have been getting better for me and there are things I love about life. I’m much wiser today than I’ve ever been (in my 40s) so I know how to deal with almost any situation I come across.
But getting back to you-only you know if it’s worth it to keep living. If there are things you like about life and think you can get to a better place for yourself-it’s worth fighting for then. If not and you plan to end it-hope you come up with a safe, reliable and painless means to do so. You’re welcome and good luck in whatever you decide.
You sound like me for the past 6 years: all rage and fury, about to break loose on anything and everything.
But then I started to discover where all the anger was coming from and so I have a release valve now and the pressure is nearly gone.
Be careful, one thing I’ve learned is that when you suppress rage, that emotion destroys you internally. You become numb and lose all sympathy and sense of human nature.
“I wish I knew why i was like this”
My advice is look at your past. Find your insecurities. Find your lies. Then maybe you can let some of that steam out.
Loops. You have rage. It isn’t released. It comes back around. What’s keeping it from leaving the loop? In my case it was self-deceit. That is why it’s my advice.
oh. oooooooh. yes that makes perfect sense. good explanation. I am going to look into my rage and see if a loop is causing it to reverberate in my head some days. You may totally be onto something there.
There’s always MMA. You could be the next woman to kick the crap out of ronda rousey. In all seriousness tho, some sort of violent, yet legal act might help you to release those instincts. FTR i do get built up anger from time to time as well, but i have my means of dealing with that (exercise, singing, chocolate).
Maybe the animal (looks a bit like a German Shepherd) is only in a rage because it is trapped behind bars. If it were released and set free I suspect it would turn into a calm and lovable creature and possibly forget the reasons for being in a rage in the first place.
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Have you thought about martial arts training? I’m thinking if you channel your rage you may be capable of amazing things.
Thought about it. Three of my little siblings did martial arts for a while; I couldn’t because of my bones. I still don’t know if I could, but who knows.
There is low impact martial arts. I think it would help. or swimming. That is no impact.
@Hazy Yeah, swimming is very fun. I do enjoy it. The only problem is, there’s no violence involved.
So low impact martial arts it is.
Well swimming to exhaustion alleviate the tension which contributes to rage. It is easier to manage rage if there is less energy to channel into it. Love the low impact martial arts idea.
Well it’d help you immensely to explain why you are this fountain of rage. Perhaps you’re an introvert who let’s people walk all over you? Or is it something chemical?
There are better, more productive ways of releasing this rage, join a gym workout, become an artist…or simply stand up for yourself when you feel you were being treated unjustly and put people in their place. The last thing you want to do is hurt yourself or others, you’ll only regret it after. Peace.
That’s just it, I have no idea why I’m like this.
I mean, I suppose my childhood wasn’t ideal. I was raised in a broken home by a family of abusive, neglectful addicts and drunks for most of it. Then there was the cruel, relentless torture I suffered at the hands of my peers. For my appearance, for my learning disability, for my family. Later, for my sexual orientation and my religion, the latter of which my father disowned me for. The bullying only sort of stopped, never fully. When I was much younger, I used to spend a disturbing amount of time fantasizing about different ways to get revenge on my torturers.
Anyway. More reasons than that of course. I’m just utterly disillusioned with life.
And about that last part: I know I’d regret self-mutilation. But I’m talking about suicide. Real, final, end all. I won’t be alive to regret anything.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. Peace.
Sorry to hear. Sadly it is a vicious world out there. I’ve experienced some bullying, my niece/nephew have, unfortunately it’s pretty much universal. Nowadays we no longer have a choice but to learn self-defense and be proactive in dealing with bullies.
I realize it doesn’t offer you any solutions now for the years of torment that you suffered. Like you I’ve often fantasized about taking revenge on people that have done me wrong in the past-but I’m really just too busy trying to keep my life in order and get to a place that I know will make me happy. It’s a waste of time and it’s draining to think about things you cannot change.
But it’s your mind reminding you of times you were vulnerable and what can occur-so the lesson is to simply learn from those experiences and move on and don’t let them debilitate you know. I’d recommend seeing a therapist as well.
I’m the last person who’s going to blow sunshine up anyone’s azz. I’ve come close to ending my own life as well but I’m still around today because things have been getting better for me and there are things I love about life. I’m much wiser today than I’ve ever been (in my 40s) so I know how to deal with almost any situation I come across.
But getting back to you-only you know if it’s worth it to keep living. If there are things you like about life and think you can get to a better place for yourself-it’s worth fighting for then. If not and you plan to end it-hope you come up with a safe, reliable and painless means to do so. You’re welcome and good luck in whatever you decide.
This is cruelty..
Yes. I am very cruel. Especially to myself.
Edit-don’t let them debilitate you now…
Oh I know that dog. His name is bah.
Well, at least the cameraman got your good side. 🙂
You sound like me for the past 6 years: all rage and fury, about to break loose on anything and everything.
But then I started to discover where all the anger was coming from and so I have a release valve now and the pressure is nearly gone.
Be careful, one thing I’ve learned is that when you suppress rage, that emotion destroys you internally. You become numb and lose all sympathy and sense of human nature.
“I wish I knew why i was like this”
My advice is look at your past. Find your insecurities. Find your lies. Then maybe you can let some of that steam out.
Find you lies? Interesting. How does that factor in?
Loops. You have rage. It isn’t released. It comes back around. What’s keeping it from leaving the loop? In my case it was self-deceit. That is why it’s my advice.
oh. oooooooh. yes that makes perfect sense. good explanation. I am going to look into my rage and see if a loop is causing it to reverberate in my head some days. You may totally be onto something there.
There’s always MMA. You could be the next woman to kick the crap out of ronda rousey. In all seriousness tho, some sort of violent, yet legal act might help you to release those instincts. FTR i do get built up anger from time to time as well, but i have my means of dealing with that (exercise, singing, chocolate).
Violent yet legal…that might be hard to find.
Maybe the animal (looks a bit like a German Shepherd) is only in a rage because it is trapped behind bars. If it were released and set free I suspect it would turn into a calm and lovable creature and possibly forget the reasons for being in a rage in the first place.
That’s a pretty good guess, I’d bet. You’re probably spot on.
But I don’t know any way out of the cage except for death.
The cage is life. It’s everything.